Accepting applications for various positions

Accepting applications for various positions

Its been awhile since I have written a blog. This is the first blog of ‘06 oh joy. Having taken a vacation from writing a blog for the time being I will need to shake off the rust of my blogging sensibilities. I was thinking just now that in the dating process there is certainly some unspoken established laws of understanding and protocol. this is obvious I realize although the actual protocol seems to vary and is by no means universal. Essentially what many dates feel like to me is that they are Job interviews so I was thinking as a jest why not just place an ad for a girl friend or a wife like one would for a job. Yes, I know I have read craigslist weirdolandia section and seen millions of personal ads. No, I mean look at Resume <-( I know accent but I don’t know where on my damn keyboard it is and you know what screw accents!) where was I …? oh yes the profile is a resume of sorts no doubt. However, I was thinking of making a questionnaire first and an application (don’t steal my idea if it is indeed original oh hell steal it and tell me how it goes) it could be online. It could be in this blog ? or anywhere?
So I write out an application and above a space to check what positions they are applying for:
1) lover___ 2) girlfriend____, 3) wife___ et cetera and than there would be questions about experience (actual), age (actual), weight (actual), measurements, et cetera. The interesting part would be the labyrinths of essays and questionnaires to fill out of course included with their head shots, no a video clip! Oh, maybe dates are more like auditions than interview but an audition is an interview of sorts?, I will investigate the audition thought later but….I digress

After receiving all the applications, photos and resumes I could proceed to take notes and make a psychological profile using a computer and a team of analysis genius’ putting all the information on EXCEL spreadsheets so they can be scrutinized quanatatively, and qualitatively. Once the initial screening process is done we will need a DNA sample as well won’t me to screen out hereditary illness and to make sure the DNA is of good stock (we will have to defer to the Germans on this one) and this is a very important aspect and certainly the way to go in the future. DNA dating sites are in the future and they will rock!

I have not even gotten to the actual interview yet and what that involves. I have a device that reads retinal movement and can detect subtle movement of the pupils. It can detect lies and the amount of tension the person is experiencing. My friend Moti who is Israeli left it here when he went to India if you were wondering. Why does Moti have it? He is Israeli. Anyway this device and questions devised by the Mossad will get to the heart of the subject, em I mean matter very quickly, over coffee in fact. By than you know everything without having to sleep deprive them or buy a lot of dirty martinis for them.

With this information and all the data a decision could be made and the positions filled. This is seems like a much more thorough process than this other random one. What do you think let me know?

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 17th, 2006 at 10:39 am