I am sitting in bed in Clearwater beach, Florida. My face is hot, glowing red, and red as a beet. I had forgotten what the heat of the sun can do to me. I had forgotten the feel of the sand on my body, of waves, of salty water, of being toasted, of being self conscious of being without my shirt on and looking like an advertisement from the before photos of Hair club of men. I feel like my Father did perhaps when I was a child. The body of an middle aged guy. I cannot be middle aged. I am still a youth, am I not? In my mind perhaps. The gulf of Mexico is warm, there is crude oil in it and the thought that it's on my body as I swim haunts me. If I see a dark bird I am convinced it's oil covered. Jess is next to me, she has a cold. Man it sucks to have a cold in the summer. On the tv there is Chris Matthews and some Politician speaking of how the nation is broke. We must raise the Debt ceiling or we will be unable to send SS checks to our elderly. They will have to eat cat food, but will they eat fancy feast or friskies? We feed Maxie cat avoderm. It has chunks of fish and avocado. This cat eats better than most people on the planet do. The cans cost over a dollar each, the price one can save a child. We would rather feed our cats than our elderly. We would rather tax the middle class than tax the rich. We would rather have two wars for a decade than pay for education, healthcare, or for the elderly. That is our American priorities. I am in Florida. Florida feels unreal, or perhaps it's clearwater, beach. It has a similar feeling of all beach areas do. There was never any culture here, no civilization, no industry, no native population and nothing but sand dunes, turtles, fish, and plants. The sand is white. It's beautiful here except for the gaudy motels, the large corporate hotels and fat, sunburned beach goers. I am one of those fat, sunburned beach goers. I am bored here, but so relaxed I do not care. There is nothing to do here, but to lay in the sun, drink beer and eat fried foods. It's an American paradise. The highlight of my Day was buying a bottle of Dubbonet and a Romeo and Julieta cigar. I could not decide what alchohol I wanted. I really wanted Campari. I was reading Henry Miller and it put me in the mood. He was not even drinking Campari, but still I thought of it. I wanted Campari. I would have drank anything from a vintage poster that one sees reproductions of or imagines in a old French cafe. Pernod was another option. I almost bought a corn pipe and pipe tobacco, but new I would end up smoking for the next few days. This is the dilemma I faced. I read Henry Miller and I want to write. I want to write like Henry Miller and when I write I write like teenager writing in his journal. It's an unpleasant disconnect. I have anecdotes I cannot recall, I see all kinds of people, have all sorts of interesting interactions that I forget soon after. I must start writing them down because like dreams they vanish into nothingness soon after. Today I went to the beach alone. I was in the Gulf of Mexico, the water was perfect, the waves were gentle, there was a gratifying breeze and I was admiring the young, bikini clad flesh around me. The beach is full of lovely young women and youth is an amazing aphrodisiac. Here I am drifting in the water, feeling the sun on my face and I see something from a horror film. There was a man with no arms in the water bobbing about. Where he once had arms he now had nothing but tattoos. He had a tattoo on each shoulder stump and a violent, jagged scar on his chest. The first thing that occurred to me was that he was a maimed war veteran, a byproduct of one of our wars. He was a young man. He had a hard time keeping his balance with no arms as the waves hit him, but he managed. After my initial feelings of horror, I felt sadness, not pity, but a feeling of sadness of the ongoing wars that exist. These are Bush's children and Obama's adopted kids. These horrid, futile wars that only serve to enrich the likes of Halliburton, GE, Exxon-Mobil and are senseless otherwise. They have maimed countless soldiers and civilians. After the feelings of sadness washed over me along with the waves, I felt a feeling of gratefulness. Just moments before I felt ashamed of my giant belly, and afterwards I felt fortunate and grateful for everything I had including my bald spot and my big belly. I felt grateful for my deaf ear, for my seeing eyes, my working hands, my arms, my legs, my toes, my heart, my lungs, my nose, my mouth, my anus, and everything else I had including my love, my friends, my apartment, my health, for being in this water, on this post card perfect beach and I even felt grateful for the man with no arms and lucky for him that he had his life and could also be in the water. we all have our lives we must live and fate to contend with. My fate to be in this water with this man. This man helped me appreciate all I had and all he has. What horrors one can survive, pain we can endure and lost we must face. Soon after I dried myself off, I read my Henry Miller, and let the sun wash away my worries.
I admonished myself for any judging I was doing. I must find love for all the people. I cannot look at people one way or another including myself. To see people as one way or another is pure ego.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Locolombia
I am now sitting at an internet place in Cartgegna Colombia, and I am grateful for the air-conditioning however weak it might be. Outside it must be 90+ degrees and I am sweating and have been sweating all day and all night. I leave from here soon, off to Medellin and away from the Carribean sea. I am not sad to go and in fact I could not wait to leave here. Do not get me wrong, I am by no means ungrateful to be somewhere hot and on the Carribean but, I find this town to be boring and a let down to my initial expectations. I have been here nine days so far. I arrived on the eigth of January in Bogota and from bogota flew to Cartagegna. I spent the first night here a couple blocks from where I write this at a very shady (as in dodgey), run down, poor looking, hole in the wall of a hotel and it was not even cheap for South America.
Let me recap, I arrived last week at the airport in Cartagena and I met on the plane a friendly Colombian women who was travelling with her young son. She introduced me to her friend who lived 2 blocks from airport. They helped me find a cambio to change my money and for the first time I held Colombian pesos in my hand. We walked over to the house that was in view of the airport. The Cartagegna airport unlike the bus station is in the center of town and in the middle of a residential neighborhood.
Let me recap, I arrived last week at the airport in Cartagena and I met on the plane a friendly Colombian women who was travelling with her young son. She introduced me to her friend who lived 2 blocks from airport. They helped me find a cambio to change my money and for the first time I held Colombian pesos in my hand. We walked over to the house that was in view of the airport. The Cartagegna airport unlike the bus station is in the center of town and in the middle of a residential neighborhood.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Saturday July 25th 2009
We are in San Jose the capital of Costa Rica . Jessica and myself arrived yesterday morning exhausted from a sleepless night. Our flight was at 2:40 am and it was only five hours long. We arrived 5:30 am due to the time difference of two hours to a muggy, smoggy, bustling San Jose. The weather seemingly changes every five minutes including the temperature. One moment its sweltering and the next a bit chilly. One moment it´s sunny and the other it´s cloudy and or raining. We took public transport to get to the city avoiding all the taxi drivers hawking us and got on the bus with the locals. The humidity and strench of fuel exhaust reminded me a lot of Havana. I must say on it´s best day San Jose is NO Havana. I hear it grows on one but it has yet to do so and we do not intend on staying and see if it does. The city reminds me also a bit of a smaller, more boring. less poor La Paz, Boliva in that its in valley with mountains surrounding it making on climb steep hills to and fro. The valley I suspect also helps keep the noxious clouds of pollution from escaping.
Yesterday, when we arrived we were way too early to check in and there was no room emptied yet. We had to wait till one and we arrived before seven at the hotel. We went eat at a local Soda (a Costa Rican diner) and enjoyed breakfast which consisted of a chesse omlette, buttered toast and gallo de pinto (rice and beans). We had coffee and tea respectively with steamed milk. It cost two dollars basically. Later for dinner we had arroz con pollo and pescado frito both served with salad, plantains, mine with rice and beans and hers with fries. The food we ate in the mercado central (central market) and cost two dollars or so for an entree. Jessica has never encountered such low prices and is enjoying it. For me I missed it as my last trips abroad have been to Germany and Israel which are not cheap and not easy on the wallet. We are staying at a nice but basic hotel. Its several old houses connected by gardens that is kept spotless. Its about fifteen minute walk to the center and most notably only 25 dollars a night for both of us. Jessica bought her first back pack, head lamp and hiking shoes for this trip. I am turning her into a back packer! (or trying). She has been very good about it all considering how foreign it is to her. Its a different manner of travel than she is accustomed to. She packed lighter than me even! Her pack weighing only 24 pounds and mine weighs 34 pounds not including all my photo gear but granted I packed things for both of us.
We walked around and the crowded streets to various plazas and had a beer at a cool locale that reminded me of a beer hall with very high ceilings and was open air and was on a second story above the pedestrian walk way below where we people watched. The city itself is full of concrete and not just the buildings and side walks. The street lamps are made of concrete, the trash cans, the benches, the monuments and everything you can imagine or not imagine is made of concrete. I have seen this in other poor nations which lacked natural resources like iron, hard stone and others. The streets are dirty, the air horrible, the plazas are modern looking and full of concrete. In short not a very attractive or inviting city exept for one saving grace which is the people are friendly and helpful. Last night Jessica fell asleep early and I was restless so I went out alone. I stopped some foreigners on the street and asked them where is good to go out. They were heading to a bar and invited me along. It was two girls (an italian and a French girl and two french guys). We all spoke in Spanish and I have been holding my own which I m proud of. They lived here and worked with an NGO and we walked to a bar in the California neigborhood. The streets were full of underage drinkers hanging out getting drunk. The bars here check ids of everyone. The bar was large with different rooms. They played a MJ tribute for awhile with blown speakers. The beers were ice cold and so cold one was frozen which although I drank half of it till I realized it was frozen they replaced it for free. I hung out with this very pretty Italian girl and her Costa Rican guy friend (who oddly reminded me of myself), we spoke for awhile and the Italian girl bought us beers. I got drunk and at one point with out saying good bye I just left since I felt it was time. I was not that drunk but I drank enough on an empty stomach and was dehydrated. I found my way by foot back to the hotel although the guide books and locals said DO NOT WALK AT NIGHT. The foreigers I met felt it was safe though and I always think fuck it i am a New Yorker! I walked back late, drunk, with stray cats and sleeping people in the streets to keep me company. Jessica was sound asleep and I climbed into bed smelling of cigarrettes and beer. I woke up hung over and queasy. I spent my day recooperating in bed. We went out for awhile but I felt like throwing up which I didn´t but wanted to. I slept more and later we went out to dinner. This time I had the arroz con pollo and she had spagetti and sauce. The fruit juice was wonderful we drank morra (sp?), and a mixed one with papaya, pineapple and morra. We walked around and nearly stumbled into a very bad neighborhood but our spidey sense told us to walk back. We walked around looking for a place to have a drink in the dark streets against being warned not to do so. It was sketch and a bit nerve racking but thankfully uneventful. Jessica was very brave but got startled when three youths headed towards with one had his hand in the pocket. Jessica´s instinct said lets go but I deliberately was looking at the map in front of a five star hotel which was near, well lit and had an attendent. I chided her a bit and she hates to be chided. One I told her let me decide who is threat or not when possible, two never run or show fear to predators, and three do not run from the brightly lit lobby but TO the lobby! It was fine we even saw the same kids on an desolate street later and they ignored us. In the end Jessica was not in the mood for a beer and we walked back to the hotel but ended up looking for a poor kitten we saw earlier with cans of tuna. The orange and white kitten seemed sickly and hungry. We never found it but gave tuna to some other strays. We got back not so long ago and she is in the room and I am on the computer blogging. We are unsure where we are going tomorrow and will decide that now...
I did not write this as descriptively as I might have but this will suffice for now...
We are in San Jose the capital of Costa Rica . Jessica and myself arrived yesterday morning exhausted from a sleepless night. Our flight was at 2:40 am and it was only five hours long. We arrived 5:30 am due to the time difference of two hours to a muggy, smoggy, bustling San Jose. The weather seemingly changes every five minutes including the temperature. One moment its sweltering and the next a bit chilly. One moment it´s sunny and the other it´s cloudy and or raining. We took public transport to get to the city avoiding all the taxi drivers hawking us and got on the bus with the locals. The humidity and strench of fuel exhaust reminded me a lot of Havana. I must say on it´s best day San Jose is NO Havana. I hear it grows on one but it has yet to do so and we do not intend on staying and see if it does. The city reminds me also a bit of a smaller, more boring. less poor La Paz, Boliva in that its in valley with mountains surrounding it making on climb steep hills to and fro. The valley I suspect also helps keep the noxious clouds of pollution from escaping.
Yesterday, when we arrived we were way too early to check in and there was no room emptied yet. We had to wait till one and we arrived before seven at the hotel. We went eat at a local Soda (a Costa Rican diner) and enjoyed breakfast which consisted of a chesse omlette, buttered toast and gallo de pinto (rice and beans). We had coffee and tea respectively with steamed milk. It cost two dollars basically. Later for dinner we had arroz con pollo and pescado frito both served with salad, plantains, mine with rice and beans and hers with fries. The food we ate in the mercado central (central market) and cost two dollars or so for an entree. Jessica has never encountered such low prices and is enjoying it. For me I missed it as my last trips abroad have been to Germany and Israel which are not cheap and not easy on the wallet. We are staying at a nice but basic hotel. Its several old houses connected by gardens that is kept spotless. Its about fifteen minute walk to the center and most notably only 25 dollars a night for both of us. Jessica bought her first back pack, head lamp and hiking shoes for this trip. I am turning her into a back packer! (or trying). She has been very good about it all considering how foreign it is to her. Its a different manner of travel than she is accustomed to. She packed lighter than me even! Her pack weighing only 24 pounds and mine weighs 34 pounds not including all my photo gear but granted I packed things for both of us.
We walked around and the crowded streets to various plazas and had a beer at a cool locale that reminded me of a beer hall with very high ceilings and was open air and was on a second story above the pedestrian walk way below where we people watched. The city itself is full of concrete and not just the buildings and side walks. The street lamps are made of concrete, the trash cans, the benches, the monuments and everything you can imagine or not imagine is made of concrete. I have seen this in other poor nations which lacked natural resources like iron, hard stone and others. The streets are dirty, the air horrible, the plazas are modern looking and full of concrete. In short not a very attractive or inviting city exept for one saving grace which is the people are friendly and helpful. Last night Jessica fell asleep early and I was restless so I went out alone. I stopped some foreigners on the street and asked them where is good to go out. They were heading to a bar and invited me along. It was two girls (an italian and a French girl and two french guys). We all spoke in Spanish and I have been holding my own which I m proud of. They lived here and worked with an NGO and we walked to a bar in the California neigborhood. The streets were full of underage drinkers hanging out getting drunk. The bars here check ids of everyone. The bar was large with different rooms. They played a MJ tribute for awhile with blown speakers. The beers were ice cold and so cold one was frozen which although I drank half of it till I realized it was frozen they replaced it for free. I hung out with this very pretty Italian girl and her Costa Rican guy friend (who oddly reminded me of myself), we spoke for awhile and the Italian girl bought us beers. I got drunk and at one point with out saying good bye I just left since I felt it was time. I was not that drunk but I drank enough on an empty stomach and was dehydrated. I found my way by foot back to the hotel although the guide books and locals said DO NOT WALK AT NIGHT. The foreigers I met felt it was safe though and I always think fuck it i am a New Yorker! I walked back late, drunk, with stray cats and sleeping people in the streets to keep me company. Jessica was sound asleep and I climbed into bed smelling of cigarrettes and beer. I woke up hung over and queasy. I spent my day recooperating in bed. We went out for awhile but I felt like throwing up which I didn´t but wanted to. I slept more and later we went out to dinner. This time I had the arroz con pollo and she had spagetti and sauce. The fruit juice was wonderful we drank morra (sp?), and a mixed one with papaya, pineapple and morra. We walked around and nearly stumbled into a very bad neighborhood but our spidey sense told us to walk back. We walked around looking for a place to have a drink in the dark streets against being warned not to do so. It was sketch and a bit nerve racking but thankfully uneventful. Jessica was very brave but got startled when three youths headed towards with one had his hand in the pocket. Jessica´s instinct said lets go but I deliberately was looking at the map in front of a five star hotel which was near, well lit and had an attendent. I chided her a bit and she hates to be chided. One I told her let me decide who is threat or not when possible, two never run or show fear to predators, and three do not run from the brightly lit lobby but TO the lobby! It was fine we even saw the same kids on an desolate street later and they ignored us. In the end Jessica was not in the mood for a beer and we walked back to the hotel but ended up looking for a poor kitten we saw earlier with cans of tuna. The orange and white kitten seemed sickly and hungry. We never found it but gave tuna to some other strays. We got back not so long ago and she is in the room and I am on the computer blogging. We are unsure where we are going tomorrow and will decide that now...
I did not write this as descriptively as I might have but this will suffice for now...
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Reptile brains versus the Monkey brains (not proof read)
I am unsure why I find myself up at these late hours. I have done so since I was a child. I stay awake even if I am tired like now. I think it might have to do with me having "adult ADD" and having "my motor running". In fact it seems that my later in life diagnosis is disturbingly accurate. How is it that it took so long for me and well others to realize I have ADD? This is because I do have the hyperactivity associated with those with ADHD. As a child I constantly day dreamed, wandered off, was messy, my book bag was always disorderly, I was always late, my mouth ran a mile a minute, my mind raced, I talked non-stop (as my Mom always said that once I opened my mouth I never stopped), and I still have many of these (well all of) these traits and behaviorism's. I do not belief ADD is a disorder, nor is it a limitation (although it can be), I think there are challenges involved living in a farmer society while I am clearly a hunter. The farmers won (for now), they beat the hunters and gatherers of the world. They through their farming, not moving around and planning were able to raise large armies, displace hunter and gatherer populations and develop advanced weapons and technology. It is the farmers of the world that are destroying it. If people lived like me and other hunters the world would be in harmony with us. It is clear that farming is unnatural and destructive. The hunters are many creative types and flexible thinkers. I have come to realize that these farmer people are somewhat robotic and perhaps possess a more reptilian brain. I have nothing to base the reptilian brain theory since I just made it up more or less but I think there may be some truth to this. I will leave it to neuroscientist to prove me right!
In some ways robotic reptile people fascinate me and I have at times admired their robot/reptile ways. They seem to have an internal clock that tells them where to go and they are good at following orders as sheep might. I find this to be interesting and again there is a passivity in the brain that allows them to behave this way. On the other hand coming to the realization that my so called creativity, the way I think, my well known candor are considered to be ADD symptoms I find to be disconcerting. Still regardless of the difficulties I have coping at times in this robot world I would choose my monkey brain over being a reptile any day of the week! In fact I have come to pity linear thinkers somewhat as it's clear their lives and thoughts are not as interesting as those with spiral thinking abilities and the ability to freely associate. There are advantages in linear thinking for those who desire to "fit in", "get ahead", and "achieve". These linear thinking people (no offense if any are reading this) are good at being programmed and following their programming. This makes them good managers, accountants, financial geeks, computer nerds, soulless bankers, and other jobs that require consistent programming and rule bound minds. The unknown truth about ADD is that it's not that we have a deficit in attention the issue at hand is that we pay attention to too much. Imagine if you can hundreds of thoughts coming at the same time at any given second. This would drive a robot brain mad. Perhaps one analogy would be that people with ADD are Macs and Robot brain people are PCs. The PC finds it hard to do too much at once and will crash. The mac is used for creative purposes and can withstand multi-tasking better. I am so sorry that those out there who own macs but have pc brains must find this out. You thought you were a mac but you so obviously are not! No worries you are still Bill Gates child and that counts for something right! Now if we could get those viruses, and spyware out of your head! Ha!
Now that I know what I am or rather how I think or do not think I find it easier to adopt to the reptilian/farmer/robot way. It's ok to be a robot, farmer reptile! DO not worry! You are right at home in your kingdom! You have temporary dominion over the rest of us. You have destroyed all the animals, plants, and hunter-gathers that have gotten in your way. You should be proud! You are a powerful virus and have spread virulently. You have manipulated the world to suit your reptile brains and have destroyed every thing in your path to do so! You know who you are. Many of you seem to admire creative thinkers, just as creative thinkers admire robot brains. I am not one that organizing, filing, cleaning, being methodical comes easily. I must try hard to do these things. I see that many of you have nothing to say sometimes. I do not envy that but its a useful thing to learn. There is value in being a good listener. We tend to talk or be alone. When I do not feel like speaking I go to be alone. I am alone most of the time but when I am social, I am especially social.
I am writing this tongue and cheek. Its way too late and past 5am. I am waiting on my camera to finish uploading the latest photos I took. Its taken much longer than I planned and my eyes are heavy. I am trying to learn to be more efficient with my time so I can advance among the robots. I am not one of them but I need to pass for one at times. I need to behave like these clock heads. I need to use my time wisely and produce. I have the potential to make large sums of money and I am finally desiring to do so. It was never of importance to me and I always had too much going on to focus on myself and my ambitions (which are abundant). I see people around me thinking small and I am not that person. Please work on your gold watch and pension, its good for you! It's your destiny! It is not mine. We can see how well society has served the peons and other slaves who served it. It's the economy stupid! it's angry! You have failed to please it. You bad, bad, bad cog! Now, what are you doing reading this? Get back to work and make someone some money! Now! Make yourself some cash too so you can keep your cog like self nice and lubricated. We can't have you breaking down now!
Ok I need to wash up as my photos are uploaded...its 5:19 am and I need to be up ten thirty. Please keep being who you are and I will continue being who I am...
-30-
In some ways robotic reptile people fascinate me and I have at times admired their robot/reptile ways. They seem to have an internal clock that tells them where to go and they are good at following orders as sheep might. I find this to be interesting and again there is a passivity in the brain that allows them to behave this way. On the other hand coming to the realization that my so called creativity, the way I think, my well known candor are considered to be ADD symptoms I find to be disconcerting. Still regardless of the difficulties I have coping at times in this robot world I would choose my monkey brain over being a reptile any day of the week! In fact I have come to pity linear thinkers somewhat as it's clear their lives and thoughts are not as interesting as those with spiral thinking abilities and the ability to freely associate. There are advantages in linear thinking for those who desire to "fit in", "get ahead", and "achieve". These linear thinking people (no offense if any are reading this) are good at being programmed and following their programming. This makes them good managers, accountants, financial geeks, computer nerds, soulless bankers, and other jobs that require consistent programming and rule bound minds. The unknown truth about ADD is that it's not that we have a deficit in attention the issue at hand is that we pay attention to too much. Imagine if you can hundreds of thoughts coming at the same time at any given second. This would drive a robot brain mad. Perhaps one analogy would be that people with ADD are Macs and Robot brain people are PCs. The PC finds it hard to do too much at once and will crash. The mac is used for creative purposes and can withstand multi-tasking better. I am so sorry that those out there who own macs but have pc brains must find this out. You thought you were a mac but you so obviously are not! No worries you are still Bill Gates child and that counts for something right! Now if we could get those viruses, and spyware out of your head! Ha!
Now that I know what I am or rather how I think or do not think I find it easier to adopt to the reptilian/farmer/robot way. It's ok to be a robot, farmer reptile! DO not worry! You are right at home in your kingdom! You have temporary dominion over the rest of us. You have destroyed all the animals, plants, and hunter-gathers that have gotten in your way. You should be proud! You are a powerful virus and have spread virulently. You have manipulated the world to suit your reptile brains and have destroyed every thing in your path to do so! You know who you are. Many of you seem to admire creative thinkers, just as creative thinkers admire robot brains. I am not one that organizing, filing, cleaning, being methodical comes easily. I must try hard to do these things. I see that many of you have nothing to say sometimes. I do not envy that but its a useful thing to learn. There is value in being a good listener. We tend to talk or be alone. When I do not feel like speaking I go to be alone. I am alone most of the time but when I am social, I am especially social.
I am writing this tongue and cheek. Its way too late and past 5am. I am waiting on my camera to finish uploading the latest photos I took. Its taken much longer than I planned and my eyes are heavy. I am trying to learn to be more efficient with my time so I can advance among the robots. I am not one of them but I need to pass for one at times. I need to behave like these clock heads. I need to use my time wisely and produce. I have the potential to make large sums of money and I am finally desiring to do so. It was never of importance to me and I always had too much going on to focus on myself and my ambitions (which are abundant). I see people around me thinking small and I am not that person. Please work on your gold watch and pension, its good for you! It's your destiny! It is not mine. We can see how well society has served the peons and other slaves who served it. It's the economy stupid! it's angry! You have failed to please it. You bad, bad, bad cog! Now, what are you doing reading this? Get back to work and make someone some money! Now! Make yourself some cash too so you can keep your cog like self nice and lubricated. We can't have you breaking down now!
Ok I need to wash up as my photos are uploaded...its 5:19 am and I need to be up ten thirty. Please keep being who you are and I will continue being who I am...
-30-
Thursday, July 16, 2009
A New Era?
(first draft with no proof reading)
It seems we have reached a new era and I am wondering if it is more of the same? I would like to remain optimistic and rejoice after eight years of George Walker Bush. I think it's good to be in a post Bush era so that people can begin to take their own collective responsibility for what is occurring in our nation and in the world at large. I am speaking of consumerism, waste, living for yesterday and a general outward behavior of apathy we are all too used to. It would be nice to think people are waking up but I think the hypnotist are just making us think we are chickens instead of sheep or in this case donkeys instead of elephants. I care for neither yet I will take this current government over the last one in any scenario.
One of the reasons I have been blogging less and less is because of the startling revelation that people from time to time actually read this blog. I honestly never thought people (even people I knew) would read this blog as I do not promote it, who would care or have time to read it?, it's not kept up to date and well again there are far more interesting things, blogs to read on the Internet (or one hopes). If you are reading this and not in a weird stalky way than you are welcome gentle reader.
It's 5am now and I am awake. I was not awake before but popped awake because I had fallen asleep with the television on and the lights. I had not brushed my teeth either and all these factors caused me to arise. I rose and naturally I ended up watching tv (about the Galapagos Islands) and this caused me to want to look at somethings on the internet. This was all foolish for I should have went back to sleep but this is me. All night I have been going to the computer and wanting to begin a script and so I down loaded a script writing software program to use. As often occurs to me at moments of great planned inspiration I get to the moment of writing and my mind goes blank. This is what occurred earlier and yet even now I can see what I wanted to write as if its just beyond the keyboard on a paper I can only see in certain light. This is why dictation always appealed to me and maybe I will look into some of that naturally speaking software as I belief it's come a long way since I last tried it.
For me making movies, like blogging, or taking photos sometimes seems pointless but I guess one can take that attitude about near anything if one wanted to be a insufferable existentialist, in short a bore. I like books, reading, movies, and such but there is so much drivel out there and why should my product be any different? The non-drivel is so over rejoiced in, so over played, so outplayed, it has become drivel. One example I will give is surfing channels on digital cable. You have hundreds of channels and nothing to watch. The stuff worth watching you most likely have seen already and the rest is stuff you tolerate or cannot stand. There are exceptions to the rule and thank G-d for DVR. TV to me is one of those things I think of swearing off (like meat, staying up late, ice cream, beer) and yet I end up consuming it. Like the other things I mentioned I cannot find compelling enough reasons not to watch tv. Foe one thing people that do not watch TV annoy me. Would they cease to annoy me if I joined them or would I only be an annoying person like them? What's especially annoying is how proud non-tv watchers are and how they think that by not having tv they have achieved something. The truth behind this is that most TV watchers were once never leave the home tv addicts so they cannot even stand to have a tv in the house with out being riveted to it. This is just one point but the other is that some how that by not getting information one would be smarter? I learned a lot from Bugs Bunny as a child. I owe Bugs Bunny and Loony tunes the credit for teaching me how to deal with life, and with my family. I agree it is horrifying to be on a bus in Europe and to have American sing the Brady Bunch theme song but do you want to be the person who does not know the song (assuming you are American). Yes, Maybe I would doubt the value of knowing the "honey comb" theme song and I now realize how dated I am when I sing these jingles and people younger do not know them and when they do it is sometimes a uniting, collective experience and one I am not sure I would so eagerly trade for 10 -20-30 more IQ points for honestly I don't use the IQ I have so why do I need more? (to figure out how to use my IQ better perhaps???)
I love this stream of consciousness blogging. Its embarrassing to me when I think of readership for than I might think I am tiresome. I find I already go through life feeling I talk too much and so it would nice to find one haven I can rant freely with no guilt. I feel fortunate for being born a loquacious person but honestly I find it hard to stop talking. This can be alienating at times and it's a life long struggle of mine. What is not well known to others is how quiet I am when I am alone. I do not mind being quiet and I can even ignore people if asked to but I would prefer to be alone than ignore people. I am not cat like in that I want to be near people and quiet. I am more dog like in that either I want to be social or I want to go off and do my own thing. I am not opposed to being around people and being quiet at the same time it just does not come naturally to me. I love this hour. I love the hour when people are sleeping and the streets finally quiet down. I find it peaceful. It feels good to be alone with ones thought and so alone that one feels as if they are in the room with their thoughts and you are like hey thoughts what are you thinking? The thoughts look back and and say nothing much as they often do reply and you think well that's kind of odd that a thought has nothing much to think about and it seems clear that that does make sense after all. I am not sure what is so important to be thinking about at times. I try often to solve the world's problems and rack my brain thinking of how to feed people, heal the planet and make perpetual energy. This is so strenuous that often I need to go drink an ice coffee. Man all that earth helping is tiring. It's some bizarre, absurd joke to teach us gluttonous, over indulgent, spoiled Americans how to become globally responsible suddenly and not even give us a little shove. The Euros at least they have a head start of not growing up with napkins, good toilet paper and paper towels. They barely just got coffee to go so they do not mind living with out. We Americans have grown used to wasting everything, ourselves included and those around us. I am not sure what I mean by that yet but it feels right to me. It happens so quick that we went from a frugal society (my grandparents depression era) to a wasteful one (my parents baby boomer era) to now. What are we now? It seems we are wanting to change or is it just a big scam to sell us "green friendly" consumer crap? We went from www. on everything to green green green. What was it before I cannot even recall? As I write this I hear the wizz, wirl, buzz of several machines. There is a fan, an AC, an air purifier all buzzing and humming. I actually like this since it creates white noise which distracts me from the racing taxis on the avenues below, the sirens, the garbage trucks and the hydraulic sounds of the buses below. I do not feel this is the most green friendly approach but this is what it takes for me to have good air and sound quality in my room at this time.
Back to the new era concept. I feel we are in a new era and if not "we" than I will speak for myself. My life changed greatly when my Mother died. My Mother was my best friend and we were extremely close. It's sad naturally and the time since has been a roller coaster as everyone who had already experienced it told me it would. I just ride with it. I am glad she lived to see Obama elected, she was a true Democrat, a true civil rights advocate and a lover of justice. I hope Obama lives up to some of his expectations since he has carte blanche for now. I fear he won't if only because the powers that be won't let him. Perhaps he can find a balance between assuaging the rich and easing the poor's burden? We can have rich people and poor but why so poor and so rich? Can McCain get along with 4 houses instead of 9 and maybe somewhere other people would have their own homes? That's not too much to ask for. I myself should work harder on doing more for others. I find it too easy to live my life from one gut full to the next with out thinking of where this food came from and what costs were extracted to bring me my food. I could go on about the long showers, the clean clothing, the heated rooms, the AC, the abundance of food I have had, and so on. All of these luxuries are deprived to others. I also go through a lot of trash although I recycle but I know that I use paper towels and other wasteful products. I need to work on this! If I become like Ed Begley Junior I will be annoying like those people with out TVs! I want to save the planet I really do!
We are in a new era if only because I believe so...
It seems we have reached a new era and I am wondering if it is more of the same? I would like to remain optimistic and rejoice after eight years of George Walker Bush. I think it's good to be in a post Bush era so that people can begin to take their own collective responsibility for what is occurring in our nation and in the world at large. I am speaking of consumerism, waste, living for yesterday and a general outward behavior of apathy we are all too used to. It would be nice to think people are waking up but I think the hypnotist are just making us think we are chickens instead of sheep or in this case donkeys instead of elephants. I care for neither yet I will take this current government over the last one in any scenario.
One of the reasons I have been blogging less and less is because of the startling revelation that people from time to time actually read this blog. I honestly never thought people (even people I knew) would read this blog as I do not promote it, who would care or have time to read it?, it's not kept up to date and well again there are far more interesting things, blogs to read on the Internet (or one hopes). If you are reading this and not in a weird stalky way than you are welcome gentle reader.
It's 5am now and I am awake. I was not awake before but popped awake because I had fallen asleep with the television on and the lights. I had not brushed my teeth either and all these factors caused me to arise. I rose and naturally I ended up watching tv (about the Galapagos Islands) and this caused me to want to look at somethings on the internet. This was all foolish for I should have went back to sleep but this is me. All night I have been going to the computer and wanting to begin a script and so I down loaded a script writing software program to use. As often occurs to me at moments of great planned inspiration I get to the moment of writing and my mind goes blank. This is what occurred earlier and yet even now I can see what I wanted to write as if its just beyond the keyboard on a paper I can only see in certain light. This is why dictation always appealed to me and maybe I will look into some of that naturally speaking software as I belief it's come a long way since I last tried it.
For me making movies, like blogging, or taking photos sometimes seems pointless but I guess one can take that attitude about near anything if one wanted to be a insufferable existentialist, in short a bore. I like books, reading, movies, and such but there is so much drivel out there and why should my product be any different? The non-drivel is so over rejoiced in, so over played, so outplayed, it has become drivel. One example I will give is surfing channels on digital cable. You have hundreds of channels and nothing to watch. The stuff worth watching you most likely have seen already and the rest is stuff you tolerate or cannot stand. There are exceptions to the rule and thank G-d for DVR. TV to me is one of those things I think of swearing off (like meat, staying up late, ice cream, beer) and yet I end up consuming it. Like the other things I mentioned I cannot find compelling enough reasons not to watch tv. Foe one thing people that do not watch TV annoy me. Would they cease to annoy me if I joined them or would I only be an annoying person like them? What's especially annoying is how proud non-tv watchers are and how they think that by not having tv they have achieved something. The truth behind this is that most TV watchers were once never leave the home tv addicts so they cannot even stand to have a tv in the house with out being riveted to it. This is just one point but the other is that some how that by not getting information one would be smarter? I learned a lot from Bugs Bunny as a child. I owe Bugs Bunny and Loony tunes the credit for teaching me how to deal with life, and with my family. I agree it is horrifying to be on a bus in Europe and to have American sing the Brady Bunch theme song but do you want to be the person who does not know the song (assuming you are American). Yes, Maybe I would doubt the value of knowing the "honey comb" theme song and I now realize how dated I am when I sing these jingles and people younger do not know them and when they do it is sometimes a uniting, collective experience and one I am not sure I would so eagerly trade for 10 -20-30 more IQ points for honestly I don't use the IQ I have so why do I need more? (to figure out how to use my IQ better perhaps???)
I love this stream of consciousness blogging. Its embarrassing to me when I think of readership for than I might think I am tiresome. I find I already go through life feeling I talk too much and so it would nice to find one haven I can rant freely with no guilt. I feel fortunate for being born a loquacious person but honestly I find it hard to stop talking. This can be alienating at times and it's a life long struggle of mine. What is not well known to others is how quiet I am when I am alone. I do not mind being quiet and I can even ignore people if asked to but I would prefer to be alone than ignore people. I am not cat like in that I want to be near people and quiet. I am more dog like in that either I want to be social or I want to go off and do my own thing. I am not opposed to being around people and being quiet at the same time it just does not come naturally to me. I love this hour. I love the hour when people are sleeping and the streets finally quiet down. I find it peaceful. It feels good to be alone with ones thought and so alone that one feels as if they are in the room with their thoughts and you are like hey thoughts what are you thinking? The thoughts look back and and say nothing much as they often do reply and you think well that's kind of odd that a thought has nothing much to think about and it seems clear that that does make sense after all. I am not sure what is so important to be thinking about at times. I try often to solve the world's problems and rack my brain thinking of how to feed people, heal the planet and make perpetual energy. This is so strenuous that often I need to go drink an ice coffee. Man all that earth helping is tiring. It's some bizarre, absurd joke to teach us gluttonous, over indulgent, spoiled Americans how to become globally responsible suddenly and not even give us a little shove. The Euros at least they have a head start of not growing up with napkins, good toilet paper and paper towels. They barely just got coffee to go so they do not mind living with out. We Americans have grown used to wasting everything, ourselves included and those around us. I am not sure what I mean by that yet but it feels right to me. It happens so quick that we went from a frugal society (my grandparents depression era) to a wasteful one (my parents baby boomer era) to now. What are we now? It seems we are wanting to change or is it just a big scam to sell us "green friendly" consumer crap? We went from www. on everything to green green green. What was it before I cannot even recall? As I write this I hear the wizz, wirl, buzz of several machines. There is a fan, an AC, an air purifier all buzzing and humming. I actually like this since it creates white noise which distracts me from the racing taxis on the avenues below, the sirens, the garbage trucks and the hydraulic sounds of the buses below. I do not feel this is the most green friendly approach but this is what it takes for me to have good air and sound quality in my room at this time.
Back to the new era concept. I feel we are in a new era and if not "we" than I will speak for myself. My life changed greatly when my Mother died. My Mother was my best friend and we were extremely close. It's sad naturally and the time since has been a roller coaster as everyone who had already experienced it told me it would. I just ride with it. I am glad she lived to see Obama elected, she was a true Democrat, a true civil rights advocate and a lover of justice. I hope Obama lives up to some of his expectations since he has carte blanche for now. I fear he won't if only because the powers that be won't let him. Perhaps he can find a balance between assuaging the rich and easing the poor's burden? We can have rich people and poor but why so poor and so rich? Can McCain get along with 4 houses instead of 9 and maybe somewhere other people would have their own homes? That's not too much to ask for. I myself should work harder on doing more for others. I find it too easy to live my life from one gut full to the next with out thinking of where this food came from and what costs were extracted to bring me my food. I could go on about the long showers, the clean clothing, the heated rooms, the AC, the abundance of food I have had, and so on. All of these luxuries are deprived to others. I also go through a lot of trash although I recycle but I know that I use paper towels and other wasteful products. I need to work on this! If I become like Ed Begley Junior I will be annoying like those people with out TVs! I want to save the planet I really do!
We are in a new era if only because I believe so...
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
The Times
I realize for me to warrant a following of to be considered a bonafide blogger I need to post more often. What I want to write about is the current economic crisis. People should be more outraged than afraid concerning this. We have been robbed! Not once but multiple times by the private sector, by the government, by the Federal reserve and by ourselves. The banks have once again let us and this nation down. Maybe we should revise the whole system? Maybe a system where the money is matched by something tangible, where the economy is not treated like a giant roulette wheel and people around the world get their fair share. I am not speaking of Socialism either.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Consolidated Blog(s)
Hi, I wanted to inform anyone who might end up reading this that I just put all my post on this blog. Previously, the entries were scattered between friendster, myspace, and blogger but now I put them all together. I will try to put them back into consequential order to make some sense but I put the original dates so you can see when I originally posted everything.
So, I am excited to start blogging for one thing that held me up was settling on a final place to do it and have everything in one place. So here it is!!!
....
So, I am excited to start blogging for one thing that held me up was settling on a final place to do it and have everything in one place. So here it is!!!
....
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