Clearwater beach, Florida

I am sitting in bed in Clearwater beach, Florida. My face is hot, glowing red, and red as a beet. I had forgotten what the heat of the sun can do to me. I had forgotten the feel of the sand on my body, of waves, of salty water, of being toasted, of being self conscious of being without my shirt on and looking like an advertisement from the before photos of Hair club of men. I feel like my Father did perhaps when I was a child. The body of an middle aged guy. I cannot be middle aged. I am still a youth, am I not? In my mind perhaps. The gulf of Mexico is warm, there is crude oil in it and the thought that it's on my body as I swim haunts me. If I see a dark bird I am convinced it's oil covered. Jess is next to me, she has a cold. Man it sucks to have a cold in the summer. On the tv there is Chris Matthews and some Politician speaking of how the nation is broke. We must raise the Debt ceiling or we will be unable to send SS checks to our elderly. They will have to eat cat food, but will they eat fancy feast or friskies? We feed Maxie cat avoderm. It has chunks of fish and avocado. This cat eats better than most people on the planet do. The cans cost over a dollar each, the price one can save a child. We would rather feed our cats than our elderly. We would rather tax the middle class than tax the rich. We would rather have two wars for a decade than pay for education, healthcare, or for the elderly. That is our American priorities. I am in Florida. Florida feels unreal, or perhaps it's clearwater, beach. It has a similar feeling of all beach areas do. There was never any culture here, no civilization, no industry, no native population and nothing but sand dunes, turtles, fish, and plants. The sand is white. It's beautiful here except for the gaudy motels, the large corporate hotels and fat, sunburned beach goers. I am one of those fat, sunburned beach goers. I am bored here, but so relaxed I do not care. There is nothing to do here, but to lay in the sun, drink beer and eat fried foods. It's an American paradise. The highlight of my Day was buying a bottle of Dubbonet and a Romeo and Julieta cigar. I could not decide what alchohol I wanted. I really wanted Campari. I was reading Henry Miller and it put me in the mood. He was not even drinking Campari, but still I thought of it. I wanted Campari. I would have drank anything from a vintage poster that one sees reproductions of or imagines in a old French cafe. Pernod was another option. I almost bought a corn pipe and pipe tobacco, but new I would end up smoking for the next few days. This is the dilemma I faced. I read Henry Miller and I want to write. I want to write like Henry Miller and when I write I write like teenager writing in his journal. It's an unpleasant disconnect. I have anecdotes I cannot recall, I see all kinds of people, have all sorts of interesting interactions that I forget soon after. I must start writing them down because like dreams they vanish into nothingness soon after. Today I went to the beach alone. I was in the Gulf of Mexico, the water was perfect, the waves were gentle, there was a gratifying breeze and I was admiring the young, bikini clad flesh around me. The beach is full of lovely young women and youth is an amazing aphrodisiac. Here I am drifting in the water, feeling the sun on my face and I see something from a horror film. There was a man with no arms in the water bobbing about. Where he once had arms he now had nothing but tattoos. He had a tattoo on each shoulder stump and a violent, jagged scar on his chest. The first thing that occurred to me was that he was a maimed war veteran, a byproduct of one of our wars. He was a young man. He had a hard time keeping his balance with no arms as the waves hit him, but he managed. After my initial feelings of horror, I felt sadness, not pity, but a feeling of sadness of the ongoing wars that exist. These are Bush's children and Obama's adopted kids. These horrid, futile wars that only serve to enrich the likes of Halliburton, GE, Exxon-Mobil and are senseless otherwise. They have maimed countless soldiers and civilians. After the feelings of sadness washed over me along with the waves, I felt a feeling of gratefulness. Just moments before I felt ashamed of my giant belly, and afterwards I felt fortunate and grateful for everything I had including my bald spot and my big belly. I felt grateful for my deaf ear, for my seeing eyes, my working hands, my arms, my legs, my toes, my heart, my lungs, my nose, my mouth, my anus, and everything else I had including my love, my friends, my apartment, my health, for being in this water, on this post card perfect beach and I even felt grateful for the man with no arms and lucky for him that he had his life and could also be in the water. we all have our lives we must live and fate to contend with. My fate to be in this water with this man. This man helped me appreciate all I had and all he has. What horrors one can survive, pain we can endure and lost we must face. Soon after I dried myself off, I read my Henry Miller, and let the sun wash away my worries.

I admonished myself for any judging I was doing. I must find love for all the people. I cannot look at people one way or another including myself. To see people as one way or another is pure ego.

Locolombia

I am now sitting at an internet place in Cartgegna Colombia, and I am grateful for the air-conditioning however weak it might be. Outside it must be 90+ degrees and I am sweating and have been sweating all day and all night. I leave from here soon, off to Medellin and away from the Carribean sea. I am not sad to go and in fact I could not wait to leave here. Do not get me wrong, I am by no means ungrateful to be somewhere hot and on the Carribean but, I find this town to be boring and a let down to my initial expectations. I have been here nine days so far. I arrived on the eigth of January in Bogota and from bogota flew to Cartagegna. I spent the first night here a couple blocks from where I write this at a very shady (as in dodgey), run down, poor looking, hole in the wall of a hotel and it was not even cheap for South America.

Let me recap, I arrived last week at the airport in Cartagena and I met on the plane a friendly Colombian women who was travelling with her young son. She introduced me to her friend who lived 2 blocks from airport. They helped me find a cambio to change my money and for the first time I held Colombian pesos in my hand. We walked over to the house that was in view of the airport. The Cartagegna airport unlike the bus station is in the center of town and in the middle of a residential neighborhood.

Saturday July 25th 2009
We are in San Jose the capital of Costa Rica . Jessica and myself arrived yesterday morning exhausted from a sleepless night. Our flight was at 2:40 am and it was only five hours long. We arrived 5:30 am due to the time difference of two hours to a muggy, smoggy, bustling San Jose. The weather seemingly changes every five minutes including the temperature. One moment its sweltering and the next a bit chilly. One moment it´s sunny and the other it´s cloudy and or raining. We took public transport to get to the city avoiding all the taxi drivers hawking us and got on the bus with the locals. The humidity and strench of fuel exhaust reminded me a lot of Havana. I must say on it´s best day San Jose is NO Havana. I hear it grows on one but it has yet to do so and we do not intend on staying and see if it does. The city reminds me also a bit of a smaller, more boring. less poor La Paz, Boliva in that its in valley with mountains surrounding it making on climb steep hills to and fro. The valley I suspect also helps keep the noxious clouds of pollution from escaping.
Yesterday, when we arrived we were way too early to check in and there was no room emptied yet. We had to wait till one and we arrived before seven at the hotel. We went eat at a local Soda (a Costa Rican diner) and enjoyed breakfast which consisted of a chesse omlette, buttered toast and gallo de pinto (rice and beans). We had coffee and tea respectively with steamed milk. It cost two dollars basically. Later for dinner we had arroz con pollo and pescado frito both served with salad, plantains, mine with rice and beans and hers with fries. The food we ate in the mercado central (central market) and cost two dollars or so for an entree. Jessica has never encountered such low prices and is enjoying it. For me I missed it as my last trips abroad have been to Germany and Israel which are not cheap and not easy on the wallet. We are staying at a nice but basic hotel. Its several old houses connected by gardens that is kept spotless. Its about fifteen minute walk to the center and most notably only 25 dollars a night for both of us. Jessica bought her first back pack, head lamp and hiking shoes for this trip. I am turning her into a back packer! (or trying). She has been very good about it all considering how foreign it is to her. Its a different manner of travel than she is accustomed to. She packed lighter than me even! Her pack weighing only 24 pounds and mine weighs 34 pounds not including all my photo gear but granted I packed things for both of us.
We walked around and the crowded streets to various plazas and had a beer at a cool locale that reminded me of a beer hall with very high ceilings and was open air and was on a second story above the pedestrian walk way below where we people watched. The city itself is full of concrete and not just the buildings and side walks. The street lamps are made of concrete, the trash cans, the benches, the monuments and everything you can imagine or not imagine is made of concrete. I have seen this in other poor nations which lacked natural resources like iron, hard stone and others. The streets are dirty, the air horrible, the plazas are modern looking and full of concrete. In short not a very attractive or inviting city exept for one saving grace which is the people are friendly and helpful. Last night Jessica fell asleep early and I was restless so I went out alone. I stopped some foreigners on the street and asked them where is good to go out. They were heading to a bar and invited me along. It was two girls (an italian and a French girl and two french guys). We all spoke in Spanish and I have been holding my own which I m proud of. They lived here and worked with an NGO and we walked to a bar in the California neigborhood. The streets were full of underage drinkers hanging out getting drunk. The bars here check ids of everyone. The bar was large with different rooms. They played a MJ tribute for awhile with blown speakers. The beers were ice cold and so cold one was frozen which although I drank half of it till I realized it was frozen they replaced it for free. I hung out with this very pretty Italian girl and her Costa Rican guy friend (who oddly reminded me of myself), we spoke for awhile and the Italian girl bought us beers. I got drunk and at one point with out saying good bye I just left since I felt it was time. I was not that drunk but I drank enough on an empty stomach and was dehydrated. I found my way by foot back to the hotel although the guide books and locals said DO NOT WALK AT NIGHT. The foreigers I met felt it was safe though and I always think fuck it i am a New Yorker! I walked back late, drunk, with stray cats and sleeping people in the streets to keep me company. Jessica was sound asleep and I climbed into bed smelling of cigarrettes and beer. I woke up hung over and queasy. I spent my day recooperating in bed. We went out for awhile but I felt like throwing up which I didn´t but wanted to. I slept more and later we went out to dinner. This time I had the arroz con pollo and she had spagetti and sauce. The fruit juice was wonderful we drank morra (sp?), and a mixed one with papaya, pineapple and morra. We walked around and nearly stumbled into a very bad neighborhood but our spidey sense told us to walk back. We walked around looking for a place to have a drink in the dark streets against being warned not to do so. It was sketch and a bit nerve racking but thankfully uneventful. Jessica was very brave but got startled when three youths headed towards with one had his hand in the pocket. Jessica´s instinct said lets go but I deliberately was looking at the map in front of a five star hotel which was near, well lit and had an attendent. I chided her a bit and she hates to be chided. One I told her let me decide who is threat or not when possible, two never run or show fear to predators, and three do not run from the brightly lit lobby but TO the lobby! It was fine we even saw the same kids on an desolate street later and they ignored us. In the end Jessica was not in the mood for a beer and we walked back to the hotel but ended up looking for a poor kitten we saw earlier with cans of tuna. The orange and white kitten seemed sickly and hungry. We never found it but gave tuna to some other strays. We got back not so long ago and she is in the room and I am on the computer blogging. We are unsure where we are going tomorrow and will decide that now...
I did not write this as descriptively as I might have but this will suffice for now...

Reptile brains versus the Monkey brains (not proof read)

I am unsure why I find myself up at these late hours. I have done so since I was a child. I stay awake even if I am tired like now. I think it might have to do with me having "adult ADD" and having "my motor running". In fact it seems that my later in life diagnosis is disturbingly accurate. How is it that it took so long for me and well others to realize I have ADD? This is because I do have the hyperactivity associated with those with ADHD. As a child I constantly day dreamed, wandered off, was messy, my book bag was always disorderly, I was always late, my mouth ran a mile a minute, my mind raced, I talked non-stop (as my Mom always said that once I opened my mouth I never stopped), and I still have many of these (well all of) these traits and behaviorism's. I do not belief ADD is a disorder, nor is it a limitation (although it can be), I think there are challenges involved living in a farmer society while I am clearly a hunter. The farmers won (for now), they beat the hunters and gatherers of the world. They through their farming, not moving around and planning were able to raise large armies, displace hunter and gatherer populations and develop advanced weapons and technology. It is the farmers of the world that are destroying it. If people lived like me and other hunters the world would be in harmony with us. It is clear that farming is unnatural and destructive. The hunters are many creative types and flexible thinkers. I have come to realize that these farmer people are somewhat robotic and perhaps possess a more reptilian brain. I have nothing to base the reptilian brain theory since I just made it up more or less but I think there may be some truth to this. I will leave it to neuroscientist to prove me right!

In some ways robotic reptile people fascinate me and I have at times admired their robot/reptile ways. They seem to have an internal clock that tells them where to go and they are good at following orders as sheep might. I find this to be interesting and again there is a passivity in the brain that allows them to behave this way. On the other hand coming to the realization that my so called creativity, the way I think, my well known candor are considered to be ADD symptoms I find to be disconcerting. Still regardless of the difficulties I have coping at times in this robot world I would choose my monkey brain over being a reptile any day of the week! In fact I have come to pity linear thinkers somewhat as it's clear their lives and thoughts are not as interesting as those with spiral thinking abilities and the ability to freely associate. There are advantages in linear thinking for those who desire to "fit in", "get ahead", and "achieve". These linear thinking people (no offense if any are reading this) are good at being programmed and following their programming. This makes them good managers, accountants, financial geeks, computer nerds, soulless bankers, and other jobs that require consistent programming and rule bound minds. The unknown truth about ADD is that it's not that we have a deficit in attention the issue at hand is that we pay attention to too much. Imagine if you can hundreds of thoughts coming at the same time at any given second. This would drive a robot brain mad. Perhaps one analogy would be that people with ADD are Macs and Robot brain people are PCs. The PC finds it hard to do too much at once and will crash. The mac is used for creative purposes and can withstand multi-tasking better. I am so sorry that those out there who own macs but have pc brains must find this out. You thought you were a mac but you so obviously are not! No worries you are still Bill Gates child and that counts for something right! Now if we could get those viruses, and spyware out of your head! Ha!

Now that I know what I am or rather how I think or do not think I find it easier to adopt to the reptilian/farmer/robot way. It's ok to be a robot, farmer reptile! DO not worry! You are right at home in your kingdom! You have temporary dominion over the rest of us. You have destroyed all the animals, plants, and hunter-gathers that have gotten in your way. You should be proud! You are a powerful virus and have spread virulently. You have manipulated the world to suit your reptile brains and have destroyed every thing in your path to do so! You know who you are. Many of you seem to admire creative thinkers, just as creative thinkers admire robot brains. I am not one that organizing, filing, cleaning, being methodical comes easily. I must try hard to do these things. I see that many of you have nothing to say sometimes. I do not envy that but its a useful thing to learn. There is value in being a good listener. We tend to talk or be alone. When I do not feel like speaking I go to be alone. I am alone most of the time but when I am social, I am especially social.

I am writing this tongue and cheek. Its way too late and past 5am. I am waiting on my camera to finish uploading the latest photos I took. Its taken much longer than I planned and my eyes are heavy. I am trying to learn to be more efficient with my time so I can advance among the robots. I am not one of them but I need to pass for one at times. I need to behave like these clock heads. I need to use my time wisely and produce. I have the potential to make large sums of money and I am finally desiring to do so. It was never of importance to me and I always had too much going on to focus on myself and my ambitions (which are abundant). I see people around me thinking small and I am not that person. Please work on your gold watch and pension, its good for you! It's your destiny! It is not mine. We can see how well society has served the peons and other slaves who served it. It's the economy stupid! it's angry! You have failed to please it. You bad, bad, bad cog! Now, what are you doing reading this? Get back to work and make someone some money! Now! Make yourself some cash too so you can keep your cog like self nice and lubricated. We can't have you breaking down now!

Ok I need to wash up as my photos are uploaded...its 5:19 am and I need to be up ten thirty. Please keep being who you are and I will continue being who I am...
-30-

A New Era?

(first draft with no proof reading)

It seems we have reached a new era and I am wondering if it is more of the same? I would like to remain optimistic and rejoice after eight years of George Walker Bush. I think it's good to be in a post Bush era so that people can begin to take their own collective responsibility for what is occurring in our nation and in the world at large. I am speaking of consumerism, waste, living for yesterday and a general outward behavior of apathy we are all too used to. It would be nice to think people are waking up but I think the hypnotist are just making us think we are chickens instead of sheep or in this case donkeys instead of elephants. I care for neither yet I will take this current government over the last one in any scenario.

One of the reasons I have been blogging less and less is because of the startling revelation that people from time to time actually read this blog. I honestly never thought people (even people I knew) would read this blog as I do not promote it, who would care or have time to read it?, it's not kept up to date and well again there are far more interesting things, blogs to read on the Internet (or one hopes). If you are reading this and not in a weird stalky way than you are welcome gentle reader.

It's 5am now and I am awake. I was not awake before but popped awake because I had fallen asleep with the television on and the lights. I had not brushed my teeth either and all these factors caused me to arise. I rose and naturally I ended up watching tv (about the Galapagos Islands) and this caused me to want to look at somethings on the internet. This was all foolish for I should have went back to sleep but this is me. All night I have been going to the computer and wanting to begin a script and so I down loaded a script writing software program to use. As often occurs to me at moments of great planned inspiration I get to the moment of writing and my mind goes blank. This is what occurred earlier and yet even now I can see what I wanted to write as if its just beyond the keyboard on a paper I can only see in certain light. This is why dictation always appealed to me and maybe I will look into some of that naturally speaking software as I belief it's come a long way since I last tried it.

For me making movies, like blogging, or taking photos sometimes seems pointless but I guess one can take that attitude about near anything if one wanted to be a insufferable existentialist, in short a bore. I like books, reading, movies, and such but there is so much drivel out there and why should my product be any different? The non-drivel is so over rejoiced in, so over played, so outplayed, it has become drivel. One example I will give is surfing channels on digital cable. You have hundreds of channels and nothing to watch. The stuff worth watching you most likely have seen already and the rest is stuff you tolerate or cannot stand. There are exceptions to the rule and thank G-d for DVR. TV to me is one of those things I think of swearing off (like meat, staying up late, ice cream, beer) and yet I end up consuming it. Like the other things I mentioned I cannot find compelling enough reasons not to watch tv. Foe one thing people that do not watch TV annoy me. Would they cease to annoy me if I joined them or would I only be an annoying person like them? What's especially annoying is how proud non-tv watchers are and how they think that by not having tv they have achieved something. The truth behind this is that most TV watchers were once never leave the home tv addicts so they cannot even stand to have a tv in the house with out being riveted to it. This is just one point but the other is that some how that by not getting information one would be smarter? I learned a lot from Bugs Bunny as a child. I owe Bugs Bunny and Loony tunes the credit for teaching me how to deal with life, and with my family. I agree it is horrifying to be on a bus in Europe and to have American sing the Brady Bunch theme song but do you want to be the person who does not know the song (assuming you are American). Yes, Maybe I would doubt the value of knowing the "honey comb" theme song and I now realize how dated I am when I sing these jingles and people younger do not know them and when they do it is sometimes a uniting, collective experience and one I am not sure I would so eagerly trade for 10 -20-30 more IQ points for honestly I don't use the IQ I have so why do I need more? (to figure out how to use my IQ better perhaps???)

I love this stream of consciousness blogging. Its embarrassing to me when I think of readership for than I might think I am tiresome. I find I already go through life feeling I talk too much and so it would nice to find one haven I can rant freely with no guilt. I feel fortunate for being born a loquacious person but honestly I find it hard to stop talking. This can be alienating at times and it's a life long struggle of mine. What is not well known to others is how quiet I am when I am alone. I do not mind being quiet and I can even ignore people if asked to but I would prefer to be alone than ignore people. I am not cat like in that I want to be near people and quiet. I am more dog like in that either I want to be social or I want to go off and do my own thing. I am not opposed to being around people and being quiet at the same time it just does not come naturally to me. I love this hour. I love the hour when people are sleeping and the streets finally quiet down. I find it peaceful. It feels good to be alone with ones thought and so alone that one feels as if they are in the room with their thoughts and you are like hey thoughts what are you thinking? The thoughts look back and and say nothing much as they often do reply and you think well that's kind of odd that a thought has nothing much to think about and it seems clear that that does make sense after all. I am not sure what is so important to be thinking about at times. I try often to solve the world's problems and rack my brain thinking of how to feed people, heal the planet and make perpetual energy. This is so strenuous that often I need to go drink an ice coffee. Man all that earth helping is tiring. It's some bizarre, absurd joke to teach us gluttonous, over indulgent, spoiled Americans how to become globally responsible suddenly and not even give us a little shove. The Euros at least they have a head start of not growing up with napkins, good toilet paper and paper towels. They barely just got coffee to go so they do not mind living with out. We Americans have grown used to wasting everything, ourselves included and those around us. I am not sure what I mean by that yet but it feels right to me. It happens so quick that we went from a frugal society (my grandparents depression era) to a wasteful one (my parents baby boomer era) to now. What are we now? It seems we are wanting to change or is it just a big scam to sell us "green friendly" consumer crap? We went from www. on everything to green green green. What was it before I cannot even recall? As I write this I hear the wizz, wirl, buzz of several machines. There is a fan, an AC, an air purifier all buzzing and humming. I actually like this since it creates white noise which distracts me from the racing taxis on the avenues below, the sirens, the garbage trucks and the hydraulic sounds of the buses below. I do not feel this is the most green friendly approach but this is what it takes for me to have good air and sound quality in my room at this time.

Back to the new era concept. I feel we are in a new era and if not "we" than I will speak for myself. My life changed greatly when my Mother died. My Mother was my best friend and we were extremely close. It's sad naturally and the time since has been a roller coaster as everyone who had already experienced it told me it would. I just ride with it. I am glad she lived to see Obama elected, she was a true Democrat, a true civil rights advocate and a lover of justice. I hope Obama lives up to some of his expectations since he has carte blanche for now. I fear he won't if only because the powers that be won't let him. Perhaps he can find a balance between assuaging the rich and easing the poor's burden? We can have rich people and poor but why so poor and so rich? Can McCain get along with 4 houses instead of 9 and maybe somewhere other people would have their own homes? That's not too much to ask for. I myself should work harder on doing more for others. I find it too easy to live my life from one gut full to the next with out thinking of where this food came from and what costs were extracted to bring me my food. I could go on about the long showers, the clean clothing, the heated rooms, the AC, the abundance of food I have had, and so on. All of these luxuries are deprived to others. I also go through a lot of trash although I recycle but I know that I use paper towels and other wasteful products. I need to work on this! If I become like Ed Begley Junior I will be annoying like those people with out TVs! I want to save the planet I really do!

We are in a new era if only because I believe so...

The Times

I realize for me to warrant a following of to be considered a bonafide blogger I need to post more often. What I want to write about is the current economic crisis. People should be more outraged than afraid concerning this. We have been robbed! Not once but multiple times by the private sector, by the government, by the Federal reserve and by ourselves. The banks have once again let us and this nation down. Maybe we should revise the whole system? Maybe a system where the money is matched by something tangible, where the economy is not treated like a giant roulette wheel and people around the world get their fair share. I am not speaking of Socialism either.

Consolidated Blog(s)

Hi, I wanted to inform anyone who might end up reading this that I just put all my post on this blog. Previously, the entries were scattered between friendster, myspace, and blogger but now I put them all together. I will try to put them back into consequential order to make some sense but I put the original dates so you can see when I originally posted everything.

So, I am excited to start blogging for one thing that held me up was settling on a final place to do it and have everything in one place. So here it is!!!
....

I'm still awake and it's nearly 6am. I figured it is a

good time to tell you of how I stood outside
Baruch while Hillary Spoke with a
Obama/Clinton sign. I was walking home
and saw a bunch of News trucks.
I inquired at Baruch College which
was teeming with Secret Service agents.
Hillary Clinton was going to speak.
After seeing it was futile trying to get inside I went home. While home I decided it was silly to hear the speech at home when she was only blocks away. I did not want to go and stand there for no reason. I made a big sign. My sign said: OBAMA
-------------
CLINTON
Unite for a change
08
It was rather large and colorful.

I had my photo taken by press, I was interviewed by a few different international media outlets, asked to stand in backround while reporters reported to Danish, Spanish, Italian, French news live. I was asked to be in a documentaryabout Millenial Generation and interviewed for Japanese radio. Lots of random people took my photo, and I think secret Service took my photo as well. It was successful that I got to be seen by Hill, Bill and Chelsea who saw my sign. That was the primary point. I wanted to reach out.

I went there not to see Hilary but to be seen by her. On my sign it said "Unite for a Change 08"
The point is not me, nor the sign but that
I demostrated a message and that it was so
simple to have an effect. I was threatened by passerbys, yelled at, cheered, I got the thumbs
up by many and my photo taken by many
people to end up where I do not know. People engaged me on the street and it was more often than not a positive exchange. It felt truly democratic to talk to people on the streets. I even heard if from Mccain supporters. We all can make a sign and go out. You can write anything you want. I made it on a normal computer printer. I printed the letters as big as possible.



SO make your own sign and go out and stand for something (literally)!!!

It felt good!

Dangerous Times

Tuesday, October 07, 2008 8:30 am

What is going on with our economy? How is it that a few people have somehow stolen our Nations wealth and after stealing it has the audacity to have the tax payers pay for their theft. The mega corporations, the mega banks and the current Bush regime has moved our money off shore and transferred our dollars into Euros. They also gave our money in form of loans from China to buy oil from the Saudis. This all with out mentioning the war in Iraq and the cost to us nearing a trillion dollars. This is a war costing the US ten billion dollars a month and we wonder why our economy is going under? I heard now a story of a ninety year old woman who could not pay her mortgage to fannie mae and fannie mae insisted she give up her home so this woman shot herself in the chest and nearly died. Fortunately, she lives and they are pushing to let her return to her home from the hospital. What kind of nation forces a ninety year old woman from her home? This is McCain/Palin's America one which every man and woman must fend for themselves as those who predate on them are rewarded. This is the Republican party that prides itself on it's meaness, on being intolerant, hateful, deceitful that has strengthened their own bank accounts at the expense of the American nation. It sickens me to see these right wing lemmins these morons of Americans who find Palin cute and will not take responsibilty for the diaster they created. These Americans are in short un-American. They harm the United States with their poor judgement and ignorance. I fear that they will attempt to steal this election as they did in 2000 and 2000. We must be vigilant of this. We must not let this happen. The world's survival depends on this election. If Obama loses everything will get worse. We might even face a Nuclear holocaust with Iran. These are important times and we must be strong and fight these lunatic Republicans for the benefit of the whole planet and humanity.

Purging people from my life

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Current mood: sad To my friends and former friends, I just deleted over hundred people from myspace and facebook. I am sad about this. Many of these people I have invited to my house, knew as a child, been to their parties, they have been to my parties, and others I barely knew or never even met. I was not planning to do this. My plan was to give notice and let people have a chance to redeem themselves as friends. However, why should I give an ultimatum to people to be my friend? If they wanted to actively be my friend they would. Some routinely flaked on plans, others did not return phone calls and others were not in touch with me at all. That is fine and their right. Recently, my Mother has been in the hospital for the past two weeks and she went there initially because of internal bleeding and fractures in her spine which caused her extreme pain to the point of being unable to move. While in the hospital and on the 4th of July she had a heart major attack and needed to be shocked to save her life. She is stable now but the final prognosis is still unknown,the bleeding continues, and her colon is enlarged which might mean cancer. Her condition is life threatening and it unsure what will occur? Needless to say this has caused much distress and these past weeks have been trying. I have not before now announced this and I do not expect people to be telepathic and/or clairvoyant. Many of those close to me like my girlfriend, my closest friends have been extremely supportive. Others who do know have not even called to inquire what is her condition or to ask me if I am ok. Many of my (former) so called friends of mine do not even know and they do not know this because they do not make an effort to stay in touch with me. Some have not recently returned my phone calls or responded to my emails. I'd like to say I do not care but that would be a lie. If those of you do not know this about me, I am a sensitive person and friendship/loyalty are very important. I am not blaming anyone who does not know or has not called me. I do not have that kind of history with everyone I know and if you are reading this than I do not have any bad feelings towards you. There are others though who I have decided to write off. I think this situation has helped me see who my friends are and who my friends are not. I am tired of people making plans and cancelling last moment, or not even cancelling them but just vanishing the day those plans were made. I am in no need for virtual friends or friends who do not care to know me, see me, talk to me and these friends in one fell swoop are no longer a part of my life. I purged facebook, now myspace, soon my phone and it will be the same in person. I am not bitter, I am admittedly hurt, a little angry perhaps, definitely disappointed but I feel good (as much as one can ridding oneself of dozens of people once considered to be friends) because I know that this is the right thing to do. Some of those I deleted did nothing grievous to me, I expected nothing from them, they offered me nothing they were just faces on my profile or people that added me that I once went to school with or met somewhere. I mean them no offense I just did not see the point anymore of hearing about them or looking at their pictures when we do not even talk, have no intention of meeting and never did. Those are the innocent. The guilty are those who do know me and did not match efforts to be friends, or flaked on plans routinely, did not hear from for long periods, did not return my calls or emails and so on. I doubt I will miss either category. If I am important to them and I offended them by deleting them and they care enough they will let me know and make an effort. IF not than it is no loss. I have never, ever had a problem meeting people anywhere, any place or any time. It was one of my gifts but I cannot force people to be my friend for real and act such. I am with a heavy heart. When ones Mother is ill and this hits you, it puts things into perspective. From this perspective I want people in my life that care about me and want my company. I would rather face things alone than look for people and feel even lonelier. Those who have been there for me I thank them and I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. with respect and sincerity, Aaron Olivo

The Potential of the US of A

Friday, July 04, 2008

It's the fourth of July and we are celebrating our independance. I might wonder if we would not be better off under British rule these days? However, we are independant and the last seven years I have been ashamed of this nation. Do not get me wrong, I love my country, I love the people and what in theory the US is to stand for. Unfortunately, this nation is run by a moronic tyrant and more so by the .05% who control 99% of our nation's wealth. This is intolerable, it is immoral and it must end. I call on all Americans to stand up to the injustices that are occuring all around us. We have the potential to be "a light unto nations" and spread Democracy, peace, and well being to the rest of the world. Instead we are a dark, stormy cloud that brings misery, war, hunger,greed and promotes the basest of human values. We have become a greedy, spoiled, indulgent nation. This is not the US of A I love or was taught about as a child. This is a faux US. This US is a fraud and we are not a fraudlent people, we just have been misled by fraudulent leaders. We have allowed them to run things while it is up to us (all of us) to get involved and change things. ENOUGH is ENOUGH! Stand strong Americans, be proud, fight for our rights, stop feeding the consumerism monster, stop the destruction of our planet, and stop waiting for others to take responsibility to do what is right. Stop remaining passive, indifferent, selfish and mindless! We are the people, for the people and by the people. WE! You and ME! US as in U.S! I will not rest until I see the America reach it's potential. I want to restore the vision this nation was founded on. Restore the truth and end the lies. I want us to be the US of A we meant it to be and not the exclusive playground of the .05% rich who seem to own everything under the sun and think it is their right to do so. Be proud, be strong, be American but more importantly be a kind, conscientious American. I love you all and I am proud to be a TRUE American. Bush and his ilk are traitors to this nation and the American people.

Me and G-d

Monday, June 16, 2008

I am not a particularly religous person. I sin daily. I am Jewish but not a good Jew. However, I do believe in G-d. I believe I am insignificant in the universe and that I am a mere spark, an insect or even less compared to the grandeur of the universe. I was just outside in nature. I felt the dew on my skin, the wet grass on my bare feet, and the darkness all around. I could see lightning bugs, and hear strange sounds from the woods and this made me feel so alive. I looked at the darkened sky and prayed. I prayed for my family, for others families and for the world. I asked G-d for strength to do the things I hope to do. I wanted to sleep outside but instead eventually went inside. However, the feeling I was left with is that there is something powerful that exist in the universe and we can give it any name we like. For this rant I will cal it G-d and I will proclaim that I believe in G-d and that I challenge anyone to prove G-d does not exist. I will not dare to convince anyone differently for let people come to their own conclusions but I know that G-d is good. I believe that in all our cruelty and the cruelty of nature that we are good as well. We must do good. We must feel good. We must fight for good and believe in the goodness of creation. What else is there? What, where, why, when, who? The five Ws. We are the five Ws and when you are fighting for your daily scraps ask yourself: why are you here? who are you? what are you? when are you? and where are you? Ask those questions and if you cannot answer them than go ask G-d!

America is ready for a Black president if you believe it is!

Sunday, May 25, 2008 2:48 am

Current mood: optimistic I am not going to accept what I hear from people that the US of A is not ready for a black president. When will the US be ready than? We are ready for it and it is about time. We cannot afford to let ourselves to be held back by fear and ignorance any longer. Even those who have nothing against a black president are hindering the possibility with their doubts. Yes, I once wondered the same thing but Obama has proven to me that the US is as ready as ever. We have plenty of ignorant racist in this world but I do not believe they are the majority. I refuse to believe in this. We are ready for change! We must all speak to everyone we meet and tell them "we are ready!!!". We are ready to throw off the yoke of imperialism and take back our Earth from the greedy corporations and the families that own them. They are the problem. Are you a problem or part of the solution? Look in the mirror and ask yourselves this. Practice random acts of kindness! Today and everyday!!!

Tired of this Reality? Let us change it!

Saturday, March 15, 2008 1:29am

I am tired of the media. I am tired of the media. I am tired of the media. I am tired of our government; I am tired of our government. I am tired of our government, I am tired of our society, I am tired of our society, and I am tired of our society. I am saying this over and over like a mantra to remind myself that when I am tired of things I desire to change them. I am not saying that I might affect a change on things but I am saying that I will die/live trying; complacency is not a proper response for myself and dare say for all of us. It does not have to be this way. It does not have to be this way. I want to repeat this to myself and I suggest you all do the same. Its is all "police and thieves" like the Junior Marvin reggae song and I am tired of this and I want myself and others (you) to stand up for what you believe and let us not resign in defeat or accept this unacceptable reality. I am speaking of the exploitation, the environmental abuses, the lies, the consumerism, the food supply and every other important issue we all know all too well about. Why is it allowed to go on? Why must I witness what is occurring with this election where we are to be distracted by Geraldine Ferraro and Obama’s pastor. I mean we are all struggling, the dollar is shit, people are being killed and dying, our streets are falling apart, the ice caps are melting and we are concerned about Geraldine Ferraro? Are we out of our fucking minds? Who cares and I have to witness four more years of Republican dominion I will not be a happy sort. It must not come to that but why is it like this? Why does it remain to be like this? They have the guns? We have the numbers! Or so the Doors song goes. I know it is not so easy but we must first believe it can be totally different. I wish so, I hope so, I pray so and I also know so, it can be different and history has showed us that and continues to do so. If Bush and his co-horts were able to do so much damage in eight years, imagine if we put the same kind of positive work in the next eight years? Is it truly as impossible as we make it out to be? I will in my own way continue fighting against the wrong I see in our surroundings and hopefully make some impact for going on like this is too painful. Everyday I hear something that should not be. Something like hearing of hard working immigrant parents being deported while their children are put into foster care or hearing how under the Bush regime Mining is considered a recreational activity on our national parks like biking and hiking. These things are criminal. Why are we allowing it? I appeal to my brothers and sisters all over the world to assist in this. It is not just the US that is engaging in these acts and their war and exploitation everywhere to combat. I do not care what your religion, race, ethnicity, class, nationality, gender is when the earth is being destroyed every day is our differerences that important? Does it matter what we believe in our how much money we have if there is no clean drinking water or air to breathe? I fear for my unborn children, my unborn grandchildren and everyone else’s. No one gave these few powerful people the right to do as they please at all of our detriment. They stole it. They took it by force. We must teach those who own the majority of our world’s resources to realize that they are in peril as well. They are also humans and money will not mean a damn thing at this rate. We must adopt responsible capitalism and true democracy in the world and stop pretending we already are. That is enough for now. I was watching Anderson Cooper (who is so gay) rip into Obama regarding his racist pastor who made controversial comments. Yes, I agree that what the Pastor had said is harmful but it was meant to a selective audience. It was meant for Black people’s ears. I think the hardest thing for Princess Cooper on CNN and other people is that Black people (many) feel resentful of how they been treated and are deeply hurt. They do not see things how those might on FOX news or in Middle America. How shocking! Maybe it’s that whole slavery thing? Most Black people feel excluded from America White society and do not feel the United States gives a damn about them. It is not un-American to think that. It is to me sad that so many Black people and other minorities feel this way and more should go to as to why they feel this way. The media goes aha how un-American but instead we should be looking at the divides as to why a popular pastor in Chicago feels the way he does as to many others. Why do people feel that the US is not for it’s people but for the rich and corporate America? There is a truth to it and instead of wondering why Michelles Obama has never felt good in America ask why does a smart, successful American Black woman (or white) feel this way? Ask why I feel this way and people I know. Why do we feel nearly ashamed these days when we travel abroad or why must I see so much poverty when I travel abroad? These are actually important questions to ask and not this other "ya hoo" nonsense. I am tired of the nonsense as well. The media must be neutralized. The government must be completely reformed. We must stop blindly consuming. We must I dare say live more like certain European nations and have our Nation be for it’s people and not exist here to milk us and keep us down. I am tired of it, I am tired of all of it but I am not going to let me be unhappy or keep me down. I see it every day and every one else sees it (the injustice, the waste). It is the proverbial stupid, fat elephant in the room that everyone ignores. Let us please acknowledge the fucking Elephant first and than tell the damn thing to get out for that fucking Elephant is Republican and they are in our way from progressing. What is an Elephant doing in the room anyway that is in itself kind of silly. Let us not go on everyday ignoring what is going around at the very least keep talking to people especially strangers, blog if you must, donate money or go to a protest but do something. We cannot afford not to and it is up to us as much as it is up to anyone else to do something. That is all, I wish you all well and thanks for reading this if you got this far. We must be patient to a degree for some things might need some coaxing.

Troubling Times

Tuesday, October 07, 2008 1:53am What is going on with our economy? How is it that a few people have somehow stolen our Nations wealth and after stealing it has the audacity to have the tax payers pay for their theft. The mega corporations, the mega banks and the current Bush regime has moved our money off shore and transferred our dollars into Euros. They also gave our money in form of loans from China to buy oil from the Saudis. This all with out mentioning the war in Iraq and the cost to us nearing a trillion dollars. This is a war costing the US ten billion dollars a month and we wonder why our economy is going under? I heard now a story of a ninety year old woman who could not pay her mortgage to fannie mae and fannie mae insisted she give up her home so this woman shot herself in the chest and nearly died. Fortunately, she lives and they are pushing to let her return to her home from the hospital. What kind of nation forces a ninety year old woman from her home? This is McCain/Palin's America one which every man and woman must fend for themselves as those who predate on them are rewarded. This is the Republican party that prides itself on it's meaness, on being intolerant, hateful, deceitful that has strengthened their own bank accounts at the expense of the American nation. It sickens me to see these right wing lemmins these morons of Americans who find Palin cute and will not take responsibilty for the diaster they created. These Americans are in short un-American. They harm the United States with their poor judgement and ignorance. I fear that they will attempt to steal this election as they did in 2000 and 2000. We must be vigilant of this. We must not let this happen. The world's survival depends on this election. If Obama loses everything will get worse. We might even face a Nuclear holocaust with Iran. These are important times and we must be strong and fight these lunatic Republicans for the benefit of the whole planet and humanity. 8:30 AM 0 Comments (Add Comment) | 0 Kudos Edit Remove

Thursday, July 10, 2008 Purging people from my life Current mood: sad To my friends and former friends, I just deleted over hundred people from myspace and facebook. I am sad about this. Many of these people I have invited to my house, knew as a child, been to their parties, they have been to my parties, and others I barely knew or never even met. I was not planning to do this. My plan was to give notice and let people have a chance to redeem themselves as friends. However, why should I give an ultimatum to people to be my friend? If they wanted to actively be my friend they would. Some routinely flaked on plans, others did not return phone calls and others were not in touch with me at all. That is fine and their right. Recently, my Mother has been in the hospital for the past two weeks and she went there initially because of internal bleeding and fractures in her spine which caused her extreme pain to the point of being unable to move. While in the hospital and on the 4th of July she had a heart major attack and needed to be shocked to save her life. She is stable now but the final prognosis is still unknown,the bleeding continues, and her colon is enlarged which might mean cancer. Her condition is life threatening and it unsure what will occur? Needless to say this has caused much distress and these past weeks have been trying. I have not before now announced this and I do not expect people to be telepathic and/or clairvoyant. Many of those close to me like my girlfriend, my closest friends have been extremely supportive. Others who do know have not even called to inquire what is her condition or to ask me if I am ok. Many of my (former) so called friends of mine do not even know and they do not know this because they do not make an effort to stay in touch with me. Some have not recently returned my phone calls or responded to my emails. I'd like to say I do not care but that would be a lie. If those of you do not know this about me, I am a sensitive person and friendship/loyalty are very important. I am not blaming anyone who does not know or has not called me. I do not have that kind of history with everyone I know and if you are reading this than I do not have any bad feelings towards you. There are others though who I have decided to write off. I think this situation has helped me see who my friends are and who my friends are not. I am tired of people making plans and cancelling last moment, or not even cancelling them but just vanishing the day those plans were made. I am in no need for virtual friends or friends who do not care to know me, see me, talk to me and these friends in one fell swoop are no longer a part of my life. I purged facebook, now myspace, soon my phone and it will be the same in person. I am not bitter, I am admittedly hurt, a little angry perhaps, definitely disappointed but I feel good (as much as one can ridding oneself of dozens of people once considered to be friends) because I know that this is the right thing to do. Some of those I deleted did nothing grievous to me, I expected nothing from them, they offered me nothing they were just faces on my profile or people that added me that I once went to school with or met somewhere. I mean them no offense I just did not see the point anymore of hearing about them or looking at their pictures when we do not even talk, have no intention of meeting and never did. Those are the innocent. The guilty are those who do know me and did not match efforts to be friends, or flaked on plans routinely, did not hear from for long periods, did not return my calls or emails and so on. I doubt I will miss either category. If I am important to them and I offended them by deleting them and they care enough they will let me know and make an effort. IF not than it is no loss. I have never, ever had a problem meeting people anywhere, any place or any time. It was one of my gifts but I cannot force people to be my friend for real and act such. I am with a heavy heart. When ones Mother is ill and this hits you, it puts things into perspective. From this perspective I want people in my life that care about me and want my company. I would rather face things alone than look for people and feel even lonelier. Those who have been there for me I thank them and I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. with respect and sincerity, Aaron Olivo 4:28 AM 2 Comments (Add Comment) | 0 Kudos Edit Remove

Friday, July 04, 2008 The Potential of the US of A It's the fourth of July and we are celebrating our independance. I might wonder if we would not be better off under British rule these days? However, we are independant and the last seven years I have been ashamed of this nation. Do not get me wrong, I love my country, I love the people and what in theory the US is to stand for. Unfortunately, this nation is run by a moronic tyrant and more so by the .05% who control 99% of our nation's wealth. This is intolerable, it is immoral and it must end. I call on all Americans to stand up to the injustices that are occuring all around us. We have the potential to be "a light unto nations" and spread Democracy, peace, and well being to the rest of the world. Instead we are a dark, stormy cloud that brings misery, war, hunger,greed and promotes the basest of human values. We have become a greedy, spoiled, indulgent nation. This is not the US of A I love or was taught about as a child. This is a faux US. This US is a fraud and we are not a fraudlent people, we just have been misled by fraudulent leaders. We have allowed them to run things while it is up to us (all of us) to get involved and change things. ENOUGH is ENOUGH! Stand strong Americans, be proud, fight for our rights, stop feeding the consumerism monster, stop the destruction of our planet, and stop waiting for others to take responsibility to do what is right. Stop remaining passive, indifferent, selfish and mindless! We are the people, for the people and by the people. WE! You and ME! US as in U.S! I will not rest until I see the America reach it's potential. I want to restore the vision this nation was founded on. Restore the truth and end the lies. I want us to be the US of A we meant it to be and not the exclusive playground of the .05% rich who seem to own everything under the sun and think it is their right to do so. Be proud, be strong, be American but more importantly be a kind, conscientious American. I love you all and I am proud to be a TRUE American. Bush and his ilk are traitors to this nation and the American people. 11:54 PM 0 Comments (Add Comment) | 0 Kudos Edit Remove

Monday, June 16, 2008 Me and G-d I am not a particularly religous person. I sin daily. I am Jewish but not a good Jew. However, I do believe in G-d. I believe I am insignificant in the universe and that I am a mere spark, an insect or even less compared to the grandeur of the universe. I was just outside in nature. I felt the dew on my skin, the wet grass on my bare feet, and the darkness all around. I could see lightning bugs, and hear strange sounds from the woods and this made me feel so alive. I looked at the darkened sky and prayed. I prayed for my family, for others families and for the world. I asked G-d for strength to do the things I hope to do. I wanted to sleep outside but instead eventually went inside. However, the feeling I was left with is that there is something powerful that exist in the universe and we can give it any name we like. For this rant I will cal it G-d and I will proclaim that I believe in G-d and that I challenge anyone to prove G-d does not exist. I will not dare to convince anyone differently for let people come to their own conclusions but I know that G-d is good. I believe that in all our cruelty and the cruelty of nature that we are good as well. We must do good. We must feel good. We must fight for good and believe in the goodness of creation. What else is there? What, where, why, when, who? The five Ws. We are the five Ws and when you are fighting for your daily scraps ask yourself: why are you here? who are you? what are you? when are you? and where are you? Ask those questions and if you cannot answer them than go ask G-d! 10:30 AM 0 Comments (Add Comment) | 0 Kudos Edit Remove

Wednesday, June 11, 2008 Standing on the Street with a Sign I am still awake and it's nearly 6am. I figured it is a good time to tell you of how I stood outside Baruch while Hillary Spoke with a Obama/Clinton sign. I was walking home and saw a bunch of News trucks. I inquired at Baruch College which was teeming with Secret Service agents. Hillary Clinton was going to speak. After seeing it was futile trying to get inside I went home. While home I decided it was silly to hear the speech at home when she was only blocks away. I did not want to go and stand there for no reason. I made a big sign. My sign said: OBAMA ------------- CLINTON Unite for a change 08 It was rather large and colorful. I had my photo taken by press, I was interviewed by a few different international media outlets, asked to stand in backround while reporters reported to Danish, Spanish, Italian, French news live. I was asked to be in a documentaryabout Millenial Generation and interviewed for Japanese radio. Lots of random people took my photo, and I think secret Service took my photo as well. It was successful that I got to be seen by Hill, Bill and Chelsea who saw my sign. That was the primary point. I wanted to reach out. I went there not to see Hilary but to be seen by her. On my sign it said "Unite for a Change 08" The point is not me, nor the sign but that I demostrated a message and that it was so simple to have an effect. I was threatened by passerbys, yelled at, cheered, I got the thumbs up by many and my photo taken by many people to end up where I do not know. People engaged me on the street and it was more often than not a positive exchange. It felt truly democratic to talk to people on the streets. I even heard if from Mccain supporters. We all can make a sign and go out. You can write anything you want. I made it on a normal computer printer. I printed the letters as big as possible. SO make your own sign and go out and stand for something (literally)!!! It felt good! 4:48 AM 0 Comments (Add Comment) | 0 Kudos Edit Remove

Sunday, May 25, 2008 America is ready for a Black president if you believe it is! Current mood: optimistic I am not going to accept what I hear from people that the US of A is not ready for a black president. When will the US be ready than? We are ready for it and it is about time. We cannot afford to let ourselves to be held back by fear and ignorance any longer. Even those who have nothing against a black president are hindering the possibility with their doubts. Yes, I once wondered the same thing but Obama has proven to me that the US is as ready as ever. We have plenty of ignorant racist in this world but I do not believe they are the majority. I refuse to believe in this. We are ready for change! We must all speak to everyone we meet and tell them "we are ready!!!". We are ready to throw off the yoke of imperialism and take back our Earth from the greedy corporations and the families that own them. They are the problem. Are you a problem or part of the solution? Look in the mirror and ask yourselves this. Practice random acts of kindness! Today and everyday!!! 2:48 AM 3 Comments (Add Comment) | 0 Kudos Edit Remove

Saturday, March 15, 2008 Tired of this Reality? Let us change it! I am tired of the media. I am tired of the media. I am tired of the media. I am tired of our government; I am tired of our government. I am tired of our government, I am tired of our society, I am tired of our society, and I am tired of our society. I am saying this over and over like a mantra to remind myself that when I am tired of things I desire to change them. I am not saying that I might affect a change on things but I am saying that I will die/live trying; complacency is not a proper response for myself and dare say for all of us. It does not have to be this way. It does not have to be this way. I want to repeat this to myself and I suggest you all do the same. Its is all "police and thieves" like the Junior Marvin reggae song and I am tired of this and I want myself and others (you) to stand up for what you believe and let us not resign in defeat or accept this unacceptable reality. I am speaking of the exploitation, the environmental abuses, the lies, the consumerism, the food supply and every other important issue we all know all too well about. Why is it allowed to go on? Why must I witness what is occurring with this election where we are to be distracted by Geraldine Ferraro and Obama’s pastor. I mean we are all struggling, the dollar is shit, people are being killed and dying, our streets are falling apart, the ice caps are melting and we are concerned about Geraldine Ferraro? Are we out of our fucking minds? Who cares and I have to witness four more years of Republican dominion I will not be a happy sort. It must not come to that but why is it like this? Why does it remain to be like this? They have the guns? We have the numbers! Or so the Doors song goes. I know it is not so easy but we must first believe it can be totally different. I wish so, I hope so, I pray so and I also know so, it can be different and history has showed us that and continues to do so. If Bush and his co-horts were able to do so much damage in eight years, imagine if we put the same kind of positive work in the next eight years? Is it truly as impossible as we make it out to be? I will in my own way continue fighting against the wrong I see in our surroundings and hopefully make some impact for going on like this is too painful. Everyday I hear something that should not be. Something like hearing of hard working immigrant parents being deported while their children are put into foster care or hearing how under the Bush regime Mining is considered a recreational activity on our national parks like biking and hiking. These things are criminal. Why are we allowing it? I appeal to my brothers and sisters all over the world to assist in this. It is not just the US that is engaging in these acts and their war and exploitation everywhere to combat. I do not care what your religion, race, ethnicity, class, nationality, gender is when the earth is being destroyed every day is our differerences that important? Does it matter what we believe in our how much money we have if there is no clean drinking water or air to breathe? I fear for my unborn children, my unborn grandchildren and everyone else’s. No one gave these few powerful people the right to do as they please at all of our detriment. They stole it. They took it by force. We must teach those who own the majority of our world’s resources to realize that they are in peril as well. They are also humans and money will not mean a damn thing at this rate. We must adopt responsible capitalism and true democracy in the world and stop pretending we already are. That is enough for now. I was watching Anderson Cooper (who is so gay) rip into Obama regarding his racist pastor who made controversial comments. Yes, I agree that what the Pastor had said is harmful but it was meant to a selective audience. It was meant for Black people’s ears. I think the hardest thing for Princess Cooper on CNN and other people is that Black people (many) feel resentful of how they been treated and are deeply hurt. They do not see things how those might on FOX news or in Middle America. How shocking! Maybe it’s that whole slavery thing? Most Black people feel excluded from America White society and do not feel the United States gives a damn about them. It is not un-American to think that. It is to me sad that so many Black people and other minorities feel this way and more should go to as to why they feel this way. The media goes aha how un-American but instead we should be looking at the divides as to why a popular pastor in Chicago feels the way he does as to many others. Why do people feel that the US is not for it’s people but for the rich and corporate America? There is a truth to it and instead of wondering why Michelles Obama has never felt good in America ask why does a smart, successful American Black woman (or white) feel this way? Ask why I feel this way and people I know. Why do we feel nearly ashamed these days when we travel abroad or why must I see so much poverty when I travel abroad? These are actually important questions to ask and not this other "ya hoo" nonsense. I am tired of the nonsense as well. The media must be neutralized. The government must be completely reformed. We must stop blindly consuming. We must I dare say live more like certain European nations and have our Nation be for it’s people and not exist here to milk us and keep us down. I am tired of it, I am tired of all of it but I am not going to let me be unhappy or keep me down. I see it every day and every one else sees it (the injustice, the waste). It is the proverbial stupid, fat elephant in the room that everyone ignores. Let us please acknowledge the fucking Elephant first and than tell the damn thing to get out for that fucking Elephant is Republican and they are in our way from progressing. What is an Elephant doing in the room anyway that is in itself kind of silly. Let us not go on everyday ignoring what is going around at the very least keep talking to people especially strangers, blog if you must, donate money or go to a protest but do something. We cannot afford not to and it is up to us as much as it is up to anyone else to do something. That is all, I wish you all well and thanks for reading this if you got this far. We must be patient to a degree for some things might need some coaxing. 1:29 AM 0 Comments (Add Comment) | 0 Kudos Edit Remove

Monday, March 10, 2008 Aaron rising from the winter and into the eternal spring Current mood: pugnacious I have learned much about myself these past months. This is the first winter in sometime that I have not gone to travel in warmer lands. This is only one thing that has had an effect on me. There are many. There is one thing that has effected me greatly and that is my environment. There is a new tall building across the way from me and this has changed my physical reality. This new large, expensive apartment building has blocked all my light and view. I used to have tons of light all day long and great southern exposure and now it is gone. In return I have a large mirrored building in which I can see my own soviet styled Mitchell lama building in it's reflection. The exception is the night where daily new neighbors move in all so intimately and peer at me like I am a specimen at the zoo. I am generally a voyeur and would have imagined that I would enjoy this but this double threat of both the building I live in able to peer into my room and the building across is too much for me. I cannot even casually observe my new and old found neighbors for the clarity and distance so clear and near has made it that I can meet eyes with my near city citizens. Previously all I saw was sky. The sky was gray, it was blue, it had clouds, birds, helicopters and planes but it made me feel that when I came home I had a refuge that was mine. I no longer feel this. I must either close my curtains and kill my beloved plants or be open to the Manhattan at large. I am thinking of tinting my windows. ..[if !supportEmptyParas]--> ..[endif]--> This is one thing that effected a bizarre hibernation. I was not prepared for this new reality and in truth how can anyone be prepared for new realities? However, despite my dark moments, my discovery that I am "ADD", my sprained ankle which I passed up a law suit (regrettably) out of some form of morality feeling that it was my fault I hurt myself when indeed their was other fault to account for I knew that I would rise out of it. I knew that lung issues presumably related to my proximity and personal intimate involvement with the Twin Towers and 9/11 have been perhaps nearly killing me that I would prevail from it. I am not one unaware of suffering. I am aware of my own personal suffering, the suffering of those I love, the suffering of the ones around me and the suffering of the earth at large. I am not afraid of suffering. I know that my suffering compared to others so far has been trite. I know that suffering is relative and in the great scheme of things irrelevant to the larger picture. I mean after call can the universe actually suffer? Can G-d suffer? Somehow in my little mind I feel it, they cannot. What is suffering but a perception? Can I even watch the discovery channel, or animal planet with out observing suffering? And have I not learned that regardless of suffering great or small the universe persists. So, my friends, strangers, loved ones that where the universe persists, I and dare I say you all must persist! What choice do we have? Even in our personal hells, our destruction, in our vaporization won't we in some way persist? And if we do not who besides a few people actually will care or notice? Are we not all just statistics or mere mentions on the evening news? ..[if !supportEmptyParas]--> ..[endif]--> On that note I must say in my insignificance I feel omnipotent. In that kind of strange Buddhist, dime store philosophical way are we not as important than any sun or star out there? I mean in an insane way if the sun suddenly went who among us would exist to complain about it? Ok. Maybe we are not as important as the sun but in some ways I think we are all an asteroid away from non-existence and even than would the pulverization of the earth have an effect at the Universe at large? Is not G-d, hashem far great and more infinite than any one universe? If those who do not believe in a G-d but in science recognize that in infinity and multiple dimensions and universes that may and most likely exist are far more important and larger than us on earth or this galaxy? ..[if !supportEmptyParas]--> ..[endif]--> Onward, despite all this adolescent theorizing and dissecting of personal existential realities there is the feeling that I am feeling better about things. I am even feeling that life is good and that since the flowers are blossoming that I too might as well blossom. ..[if !supportEmptyParas]--> ..[endif]--> That is it. That is that blog that I blogged and had not in sometime. That is my daylight savings contribution to my cyber profiled self. If you read this I thank you and feel glad to have shared a bit of my inner workings. If you have not read this than I know that I am as I write it and in the grand scheme of thing than who cares anyway?