Upset

Friday, November 05, 2004 3:49 am

Upset I am so upset about Bush winning. I am planning on leaving the country.

Police State

Wake up Amerikkkans, yall are living in a Police state. That’s right the land of the free and home of the brave have become land of the incarcerated and home of the coward. Tonight I was walking around with my friend in the vicinity of bellevue hospital on a misty, drizzling eve. I wanted to show where they often take establishing shots on many TV shows, and films when they show emergency room from the outside in NYC. We were on the street in front of the Emergency room entrance and admiring steam combined with light creating an eeire effect. I was shooting stills and videoing with my d-cam of it and we got approached from behind….
From behind we heard “you can not take pictures here”. We turned around and there stood a balding, grizzled, older man with a gold shield out (which signifies to me detective), he was missing teeth and looked tough and seasoned. The most noticeable feature though was his 9mm auto pistol that he had his hand on the grip and the shirt pulled up around it to make easy to draw. He was alert and if necessary shoot us both. and than “what are you doing here?” he said we should know better cause of “the times” and that we could not be here. My friend proceeded to ask him is this is a public street and the cop answered sternly no its City. My friend wanted to know of “our rights” which I thought was a bit absurd cause I knew we had none. The Detective replied I am being nice cause you guys don’t seem like “wise guys” but you should know better and get out of here now. If you do not get out I will bring you to HP (hospital precinct) and we can settle it there. Later he said he also “ran corrections here”. I got the point immediately, my friend did now. There was no point of arguing with a guy who hand his hand on his pistol. That was all the right he needed the right of might. So we left. This was not the only time this happened my same friend and I were walking downtown by police headquarters but walking on a street that was always open to the public. We were walking and this cop yelled out to us “stop, frozen zone frozen zone” and he took his pistol out and aimed it us. My friend and I looked at each other puzzled “what the hell is a frozen zone?” Why was this cop drawing his pistol on us for walking where was now (unknowingly to us) restricted? This is post 9-11 Dubya Amerikkka that’s why. Look at this recent bomb warning in the subway. Now they say it was unfounded. Yet they are scaring the hell out of us anyway, like the W.M.D. and all this other propaganda. Everyday they (the government) find da pretense to take our freedom away. Everyday we lose more and more rights. Do you realize they can tap you with out a court order and I mean they can TAP EVERYTHING you touch and around you. DO you know they can arrest (detain) you indefinitely with out reason (just suspicion) and send you to Gitmo if they wanted or the least interrogate you here for as long as they like with allowing you a phone call. YOu are treated as a enemy combatant during war. YOU are taken as a POW in your own fucking country! Go straight to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200! I am not even talking about all the Big Brother shit going on I am talking about the Patriotic act, oh wait that is the Big brother shit but more. Its like the super sized big brother shit. We lost our rights. Now they are searching our back packs in the subway. They did it in the airport fine but now its becoming everywhere. Where is ones privacy? where has our freedom gone?
I got more but that’s for another blog. Like how Europe is better in many ways and I hate to agree that they are right about us which scares the hell out of me. I mean Europeans being right? See that’s a double entendre cause it’s a Merkel (the New Reich Chancellor of Deutschland) reference and a pun. Anyway, I will get into that next time.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 11th, 2005 at 11:09 pm

Rosa Parks

Rosa Parks

I wanted to give my respects to the family of Rosa Parks. It was her courage that help advance the civil rights movement. If everyone was as brave as she was, the world would be a much better place.

This entry was first posted on Tuesday, October 25th, 2005 at 12:32 pm

quick sex

quick sex

Its been awhile since I wrote a blog. I find the word blog vastly unappealing. Its like blob and log rolled into one. Regardless, I have not had the energy or inspiration to write but now I feel I do. It might not be a very focused entry though. First I must say I have all but sowed my current female friendster crop or did I reap them? I think I reaped them and they were harvested, made into bread, turned into crumbs and now lie under the kitchen table to be swept away. I had some up and downs with women lately. They pursued, I pursued, they rejected, I rejected, I seduced and I was seduced and in the end its all kind of meaningless and dissapointing. What I have learned or rather confirmed is I need to stop moving so fast and having sex with girls so quickly. Its not worth it. Yes, I am a great lover and yes they enjoy intense pleasure but this is purely physical. The emotional side of relationships take time. I am too impetuous, want instant gratification and this leads to having sex with out knowing one another. I am trying to learn the error of my ways. It seems that women need time to feel secure and comfortable with a man for anything meaningful to develop. I do not feel I need as much time to feel so but it must be mutual for it to grow. I often go with my instincts and jump in head first but Iam using the wrong head for entry. I have the capacity to be incredibly loving and affectionate and I make women purr like a pussy chat. Yet, like a cat beind stroked I think they care not what is the source as long as it feels good at the time but after the akward feelings set in. That is when they are like "who is this guy?"

I do not pursue well. I am a poor pursuer. I do not want to pursue and I often know not if a girl past the initial attraction wants me or not. They seem to want me to pursue and I will not. I have plenty of numbers I do not call. I lose track of women I am in contact with or know. I care not what you think of this for I am being honest. I refuse to allow myself to go out a limb unless I am %100 about someone and know I want them. Ladies and gentleman we are too busy playing games with each other and trying to seem elusive that in the end we do just that, we elude each other. If I do not call a girl back or at all its not personal or because I am not interested it is because I am either eluding or was eluded.At times if I am interested I do not want to risk hurt feelings so its easier to let it go. I am sensitive, take things personally and do not want to get hurt. Lately, I prefer to opt for "friends first ". Unfortunately, the attraction gets in the way and than it gets physcial. The solution is not to have sex if I want the emotions to develop. I should not even kiss on the first date. The problem is that I have a scorpio rising and I am very sexual. I can be very, very seductive and in the end seduction is a form of power but does seduction lead to better understanding or just speed things up?

I desire to please women. I want to give them pleasure in the form of affection and orgasms. I am good at this and feel women use me for this at times. They do not want me they want to be petted and come! Its the emotional component I need to work on as to rival the physical mastery I have attained. I need to proceed slower and allow the woman to get to know me more gradually. Of course this in the end will be worse for the woman will fall in love with me, Poor thing.

Everyday I learn a new thing about myself. I do not want one night stands and mere sex does not intrigue me. I would like to have a real partner ultimately. I want someone to spend "quality" time with,to eat chocolate in bed with, cook for, take walks with, and have long conversation. Ok, and to have intense, hot, sweaty sex with as well but not so fast! sue me I have a romantic side. I am not some womanizing asshole. I love women. I respect them. I feel close to them. I desire them. I want the right one and these random ones that contact me do not seem to be the ones I am looking for but I will keep looking I suppose. I like my freedom but at times I feel very alone.

Friendster, myspace is a poor cure for loneliness. I care not for sifting through the pile of images online to have more dates. I could have ten a week if I cared to. Online romance is like the home shopping club of failed expectations. To sum this up, I need to go slower. Having sex quickly has not meant anything meaningful and in fact I think it harms the fragility of a blossoming relation. On the contrary and in retrospect the two women I was with the longest (a culmination of ten years) I had sex with both of them on the second date with. So, no more having sex on the first date, I am waiting for the second!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 8th, 2005 at 12:54 am

To my friend-sters

To my friend-sters

If you are reading this (or not reading this) and you are one of my "friends" wheter virutally or in the flesh than thank you for being my friend. Even if we never talk, write or see each other your online prescense reminds me of you and I enjoy seeing your photos and reading your profiles about you all. We are all so busy and this allows us to be in touch with minimal effort and for many of us if it was not for these sites than we would not know one in another at all. Its good knowing you all and I value your "friendship" even if you delete me

p.s thanks to the tech people that run all this, that cannot be an easy feat.

"You win some, you lose some but in the end an experience is gained"AO

This entry was posted on Sunday, November 13th, 2005 at 4:40 pm

connected

connected

There is more than one idea going through my mind right now so bear with me. The idea of being connected can mean many things. One can be connected in business, connected with themself, know someone through someone, can have an afinity with another, there are so many connotations of "being connected". Are you connected to your feelings? to your spiritual self? is your cell phone connected? is your internet connected?

Lately I am hearing this word a lot and it made me think about my own "connections". Am I connected to myself? what am I missing? am I operating at a lower level? why is it that all the people I know that are "spiritual" seem to be crazy.

Ok, yes I am cut off, I am devoid of something but I am thinking of this as a good thing. Maybe my crazy spiritual friends are right about some things. The other connections I am thinking about are interpersonal. Through techonolgy the internet and cell phones we can be in touch with a lot of people. I think it has become so many that we hardly have time for anything anyway so the chance you will see the people on your phone is unlikely. I mean look through your phone. Tell me if you even remember the names on it? Ok, maybe Its me but I do not re-call who many of the names are and many I do have I am not going to call anyway. Yeah, I am not going to call a lot of these numbers I should delete them. Than if keeping in touch with text messaging, voice mail which I Hate voice mail, talking, you have the emails. How many people I am in touch with…dunno 40-50? from my travels, or friends around the world, than you have sites like Myspace, flickr, friendster, and the people you know from there, and to top it off you can be on AIM, messenger,google chat, and yahoo. When I was younger I did not need to be in touch with so many people, I did not meet anonymous women, or feel the need to talk on the phone as I went to the supermarket, and now thats all we are doing. communicating non-stop!

I feel distracted by all this technology. Its messing with my innner harmony, my chi, my balance, my level of consciousness. At times I thinks its wonderful on many levels but enslaving in others. I know walkmans are not new but the ipod has complely tuned out people (have you rode the L?), than if not the ipod the cell phone, why do we suddenly need to call people all the time? to leave them a voice mail?

We are so connected but so unconnected that is what I am seeing. I am going to heed what I am hearing and connect within, right after I write some emails.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 29th, 2005

Accepting applications for various positions

Accepting applications for various positions

Its been awhile since I have written a blog. This is the first blog of ‘06 oh joy. Having taken a vacation from writing a blog for the time being I will need to shake off the rust of my blogging sensibilities. I was thinking just now that in the dating process there is certainly some unspoken established laws of understanding and protocol. this is obvious I realize although the actual protocol seems to vary and is by no means universal. Essentially what many dates feel like to me is that they are Job interviews so I was thinking as a jest why not just place an ad for a girl friend or a wife like one would for a job. Yes, I know I have read craigslist weirdolandia section and seen millions of personal ads. No, I mean look at Resume <-( I know accent but I don’t know where on my damn keyboard it is and you know what screw accents!) where was I …? oh yes the profile is a resume of sorts no doubt. However, I was thinking of making a questionnaire first and an application (don’t steal my idea if it is indeed original oh hell steal it and tell me how it goes) it could be online. It could be in this blog ? or anywhere?
So I write out an application and above a space to check what positions they are applying for:
1) lover___ 2) girlfriend____, 3) wife___ et cetera and than there would be questions about experience (actual), age (actual), weight (actual), measurements, et cetera. The interesting part would be the labyrinths of essays and questionnaires to fill out of course included with their head shots, no a video clip! Oh, maybe dates are more like auditions than interview but an audition is an interview of sorts?, I will investigate the audition thought later but….I digress

After receiving all the applications, photos and resumes I could proceed to take notes and make a psychological profile using a computer and a team of analysis genius’ putting all the information on EXCEL spreadsheets so they can be scrutinized quanatatively, and qualitatively. Once the initial screening process is done we will need a DNA sample as well won’t me to screen out hereditary illness and to make sure the DNA is of good stock (we will have to defer to the Germans on this one) and this is a very important aspect and certainly the way to go in the future. DNA dating sites are in the future and they will rock!

I have not even gotten to the actual interview yet and what that involves. I have a device that reads retinal movement and can detect subtle movement of the pupils. It can detect lies and the amount of tension the person is experiencing. My friend Moti who is Israeli left it here when he went to India if you were wondering. Why does Moti have it? He is Israeli. Anyway this device and questions devised by the Mossad will get to the heart of the subject, em I mean matter very quickly, over coffee in fact. By than you know everything without having to sleep deprive them or buy a lot of dirty martinis for them.

With this information and all the data a decision could be made and the positions filled. This is seems like a much more thorough process than this other random one. What do you think let me know?

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 17th, 2006 at 10:39 am